Aiky's World

i just answered my own question.

2011-04-24T00:55:00.000+08:00

if someone , whether be it a lover or a friend.
if that someone wants to be part of your life.
he or she will put in the effort to communicate with you.

not just things like replies to Tweets.
not just Likes on Facebook.
not just comments on photos here and there.

emails , messengers and skype.
smses , phone calls or even whatsapp and such.
or even more traditionally , letters.

if you mattered enough , you'd be getting all these from me.
if i mattered enough to you, you'd be talking to me too.

guess i know where i stand with certain friends.
it was nice knowing you once upon a time.

a facade of strength

2011-03-12T12:40:00.002+08:00

one of the hardest things to do is project a facade of strength

when deep inside. you're dying.

the crazier part is. you don't know what's killing you.

you lose motivation to do the things you love.

you lose interest in things you used to do.

and it seems to the whole world that everything is all right.

but when the facade crumbles.

what happens ?

2011-01-04T05:22:00.002+08:00

funny , it seems like blogging is such a dead thing these days

good/bad.

i get to write stuff here that at most one or two people who actually bother to come here will see.
hell , even i don't come here often.

i promised myself i'd write more.

an entry a day for Europe.
well , looking at the pictures , the memories seem to be fading.
but i'll be damned if i don't write it all down.
and i should finish up my PP for my pictures before CNY , that's a promise to myself.
look out for them on FB !

was reading through a huge load of quotes in December during my break ,
and one of them that makes a whole lot of sense is this :

There's nothing wrong in in showing you care for someone.

What's wrong is expecting him/her to do the same.

I guess it pretty much explains what I've been doing wrong.
Not that I didn't realise this before reading this quote , I'm just the sort of person that needs something written down in words before it'll really stick with me.

Aye , gotta go to camp now so ciao for now.

2010-12-18T12:11:00.002+08:00

I'm happy that you're happy.
And to me , that's all that matters.
No explanations needed.

2010-12-16T17:13:00.002+08:00

if there was one thing that people never say about me
(and that's because they're too nice to say it out)
it's that i'm bloody lazy.

almost two weeks after getting back from Europe and no one has seen any pictures yet.
why ?
cause i'm so lazy , I myself have yet to vet through them.

i promised myself I'd write an entry for every day spent there.
well , it's been so long , I doubt I can write anything of remarkable length.

people remember things more when they talk about it.
i tend to forget more when i tell others.
it's like , oh i've told someone else about it , i can forget it now.
heh , come to think of it , it's like studying for exams.
right after my exams , i never ever remember anything i've studied.

heh , did i mention i procrastinate alot ?
i started this blog post hours ago , and yet i'm only posting this now .

lol , okay hopefully , i can get my photos sorted out as much as possible.

i'll start now . for real . and write a blog entry for every country at least .

next stop

2010-11-20T20:35:00.002+08:00

Europe !

Rome.
Florence.
Venice.
Milan.
Interlaken.
Lucerne.
Paris.
London.

Flight Details :

SQ 366 - Changi International Airport - Leonardo da Vinci-Fiumicino Airport
- Dep : Nov 21 , 0100

SQ 321 - London Heathrow Airport - Changi International Airport
- Arr : Dec 3 , 1845

Be back in December !

you won't find faith and hope down a telescope

2010-11-18T23:24:00.002+08:00

wow , it's been a really hectic couple of weeks
things happening faster than i can comprehend
must have been in too slow a gear for far too long !

hahaha.

still haven't found real motivation to work on stuff
but a steady supply of ideas are coming in !
things to keep me occupied for a while at least.

but for some funny reason , i work best when i've got other things to do ,
things to prepare for and events to head for.

like for example , most times when i upload photos to facebook , it's like an hour before i'm due to head out to meet friends , which means in the preceding hours , i just found the urge to sort through and filter through the photos.

but honestly the procrastination stems from one thing . i tend to snap alot .
a one day event , if i find enough things of interest can result in close to a thousand or even more shots and these aren't even big events we're talking about.

and even when i'm shooting for myself , i still shoot alot . but when it comes to processing these shots , it's even worse. i have to find myself in the mood to work on these photos .

frankly i think i've become too damn lazy . hahaha .

ok , i think i'm delirious. i'm supposed to be up in a couple of hours to head to camp and i'm still up. lol .

and oh in just , about 48 hours from now , i'll finally be on my way to a place far far away.

can't wait .

and when i get back , i have a project to finish . my last shot . make it a 1x good one.

hopefully , i find inspiration when i'm far far away. it'll be a waste otherwise.

shall write a firmer entry tmr .

sleep deprivation makes you type nonsense. hahahaha.

2010-10-31T13:04:00.003+08:00

it's been quite some time since i wrote here.
the truth is , i've been darn lazy.

life , as we know it , well it's still going alright.
not too many complaints.

to answer what some of my friends are saying about the stuff i post on facebook and twitter or msn, no there is no girl in my life at this point in time. no one new at least (;

they're just things that i watch in shows , listen in music , and read from wherever.
i'm an emotional person. so there.

other than that , life has been alright.
starting to see the end of NS.

been having more time to rest and do the things i want , but strangely , i suddenly lack motivation. as of now , still haven't found the reason why .

i feel more drained these days even though my life in Army is more relaxed ...

mmm. mind blank. again.

till next time than.

back to reality

2010-09-16T11:43:00.002+08:00

like a spray of cold water to the face
it's back to reality once again.

back in Singapore again.

somehow , being back here after being overseas always makes me think.
thinking about the things that have happened. the things that didn't happen. and why.

reality is cruel.
i really should stop looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses.

the begining of the end

2010-08-30T20:35:00.002+08:00

it's been a while since i blogged.
much has happened.
much has not happened.

as i write this , i'm still packing the last few items into my bag.
getting ready for something that seems so surreal.

i'll be away for awhile.
not a long time.
nor a very short time.

just a little over two weeks.

one can consider it as a break from singapore.
but it's still serving NS.

but hey , on the positive side , the SAF's paying for a holiday for me and my friends eh !

been so busy recently.
and when i'm not busy been feeling lethargic.

so much i wanted to do , yet didn't .

hopefully after i come back .

i'll get some fire back in me.

I bid farewell to this place for awhile.

do a 180

2010-08-15T19:11:00.002+08:00

today was the kinda day,
that you know you have tons of things to do.
but you just don't feeling like doing anything.
and your thoughts wonder wildly.
to things you've kept locked away in a box.

there's a reason why these things were kept in a box .
if they could have been thrown away . you would have .

the question is . why now .
suddenly the songs in my iTunes are not the ones i wanna hear .
i'd turn it off , but the silence would be deafening .

it's only been a week ?

2010-08-15T07:51:00.002+08:00

wow , this past week sure has gone by in one heck of a hurry !
so much has happened !
and i got this huge backlog of photographs ... AGAIN !
i <3

chillax with KS, Johnnie, Terry and WeiJie for on National Day.
went to the Airport to send ZX off to Amsterdam .
wish i was the one going ... hahaha !
getting a lil sian of this little island.

Tuesday - Thursday , brought my camera to camp to take shots *muahahahaha* LOA ftw
but other than taking a buttload of not exactly fantastic shots ... spent the rest of the time in camp sleeping :x
But still despite doing nothing , still booked out rather late ...

Wednesday was nights-out.
Went to JP with Menveer , Gary , SJ and Jia Liang for Crystal Jade and Bakerzin.
Excellent food , excellent desserts, excellent company.
BEST NIGHTS-OUT EVER !

Friday spent time in camp preparing to pack for going over to Thailand , finally got confirmation that I was going. Hopefully things turn out well !

Spent yesterday hanging out with Kelvin , YT , Trish , Nick , Daryl and Ht to celebrate a surprise bday for Kelvin ! Dinner at Fish and Co and drinks at Chalk @ Old School.
Too lazy to elaborate shall just process photos than post later !

For now i'll see how much i can process , heading to Chinatown in a while to shoot !

join the dark side. we have cookies.

2010-08-08T18:58:00.002+08:00

or at least i do.
muhahahahahaha !

mega crazy mass baking of cookies today.
baked like maybe 200 or more cookies ?

most are for sis's class gathering , which i got arrowed to help bake cookies for ,
i in turn arrowed her to help with most of the work ! wahahahaha !!
have had a great weekend so far , the amount of pictures taken these two days ,
if only i can find the same amount of things to take every week , that'd be awesome !

shall work on processing photos tonight ... yeah , i'm lazy when it comes to vetting ...
but the final product is worth it ok !

been back in camp for the past two weeks , finding myself in a really weird position.
hopefully things get better , or at least i get used to it.

currently being excused stay-in.
which means i get home late at night and leave my house at 5.30am every morning to get to camp by 0715.
the journey from home to Jurong Camp and back home again every day is no joke man.
but the sacrifice to sleep on my own bed is worth it , my back doesn't hurt so much these days (:

hoping that with CSM backing me , i'm able to fly to Thailand for the Coy's overseas Ex.
would be really sad to miss out this once in a lifetime experience.
hopefully , my backpains won't be a problem for me there ):

hey , i just noticed that this is like the first non-emotional post i've had here for a long time !!
that's good !

okay , shall not procrastinate and head for a shower and dinner than work on photos !

just put the blame on me

2010-07-25T09:35:00.002+08:00

it's really silly that i refuse to talk to anyone about this ,
yet brood over it.

truth is , even if i talked to anyone , the answers i'd get
are no different from what i already have in my head.
the answers to my questions , their all right there.
it's whether or not i choose to accept them, or act as i should.

it sure is hard to control how one feels.
theory and practical have always been very different.
it's easy to advise someone to do something.
but difficult for yourself to practice what you preach.

so i'm saying this.
put the blame on me.
i blame myself for putting my priority on you.
i blame myself for doing all those silly things i did.
i blame myself for nursing that crush on you.
i blame myself for mistaking any of your actions as possible signs of interest.
and as a friend , i blame myself for being such a lousy friend to have thought of all these.

maybe it's for the better.
maybe.

but for now. i guess i've made up my mind.

2010-07-11T20:27:00.002+08:00

what do you say to taking chances ?
what do you say to jumping of the edge ?
never knowing if there's solid ground below
or hand to hold
or hell to pay
what do you say ?

i say you have nothing to lose.

2010-07-06T17:08:00.002+08:00

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter"
- James Earl Jones

the feelings i have inside me now .... no one can ever understand or feel
because no matter what , you can never be me ...

should i regret never doing what my heart tells me to do
or should i regret failing when i try to do what my heart tells me to do

when i know the odds are stacked against me ... do i rush foolhardily in
or do i take a step back and make an organised surrender ...

i'm tired of this game i've been playing with myself ...
but i hate disappearing without a word ...

i guess i've no idea what i'm thinking anymore ...

i'm just rambling. the only thing on my mind.

突然好想你

thoughts of a mind with too much time

2010-06-18T08:30:00.002+08:00

i guess , when you have lots of time.
the one thing you'll tend to do is think.

and alot.

and i have been thinking.

and been considering many things from many angles.

and i've come to many a realization.

some things are just fated to be.

i guess many things are just what you imagine them to be.

and the reality might just not be what you want it to be.

but you should just accept it for what it is. and move along.

there's no point brooding over it. but human nature is always as such.

what could have been ?

if it's meant to be , fate will hand you a second chance.

why can't everything go back to the way it was

2010-06-11T18:27:00.002+08:00

老天又在耍我 ...

sigh ... now the surgeon say don't operate yet , schedule me for Pain Management see how ...
but wtf man ...
the appointment for that is in freaking October for now ...
so from now till than how ? hopefully can bring forward the appointment ...
pro is that for now , MC ends at the end of July
but con is that ... I'M STILL LIVING IN BLOODY PAIN ...
and Pain Mgmt is not a permanent solution ,
the injection lasts only a couple of months if it's even effective ...
and I've got no idea what's gonna happen when i get back to camp ... argh ...
so damn stressed ...

ok i wrote that a couple of hours ago ... now i guess i'm calmer now ...
but still the feeling sucks ...

it's like from the start till now ... at the snails pace this has been going ...
i've not gotten better but only gotten worse ...

not to mention for some stupid reason , i keep worrying about camp stuff ...
i've done so much for them , and still they just don't give a real damn about me ...
just feels so depressing when they look at me and i can see it in their eyes that i'm like slacking or something ... but bloody hell ... it hurts like shit ...
and i've been bearing with it and trying to work and all but i just can't take it anymore ...

i could really use a wish right now

2010-05-23T17:19:00.002+08:00

"can we pretend that airplanes
in the night sky
are like shooting stars
i could really use a wish right now
wish right now wish right now" - airplanes

the feeling i have right now.
i guess it's hard to describe.
i'm in a world of hurt.
both emotionally and physically.
and it's not that i don't want to tell anybody how i feel.
i just don't want to burden them with my problems.
i force a smile on my face everyday.
but deep down. there's nothing much to smile about.

it's been a long time since i felt this messed up.
and i'm not sure how long i'm gonna be this way.
dear god , i hope it's not too long ...

"and it seems like yesterday , it was just a dream , but those days are gone
their just memories."

hope. really ?

2010-05-18T19:43:00.002+08:00

"I think everyone at some point goes through that one moment where they think “Oh my God, I can’t do this”. But you know what? You can. No matter how close you are to the edge, no matter how badly you feel like giving up, or think it’s best to do so rather than have to put up with the pain - don’t. Don’t lose hope that things will get better. Don’t give up, because there is someone out there who will make you smile in a way no one else ever could. Keep that glimmer of hope alive in your heart, because someone is out there searching for you, for your smile. So wipe your tears and hang on tight." - runawaytrain

hope.
that's what i've been told to hold on too.
no matter how slim that silver of hope is.
hold on tight.
but advice is always easier to give than to follow.

i think i know my place in your heart.
how much hope is there really ?
i should be realistic.

the silence is deafening

2010-05-12T19:49:00.002+08:00

with each passing day ...
it's as if i've got less and less to look forward to ...

friends ...
family ...
everyone's just caught up in their own lives ...
i'm not blaming anyone ...

i'm just going through a really tough time ...
and i really wish there's someone who can be there for me ...
yes , i do have a friend or two willing to hear me out ... thank god for them ...
but it's not like just talking about it once or twice is gonna make me feel better ...
and i really feel bad occupying so much of their time talking about the same things over and over again ...
i feel sick of myself ...

hopefully things get better ... but i don't see that happening in the near future ...

and the disappointment from last week ... i can't seem to get over it ...

perhaps that's meant to be ...

life is so practical these days .... too practical ...

21 and counting

2010-05-08T07:44:00.002+08:00

so i've finally turned 21 , it's funny , i don't feel any different than before.
i'm still me.

it's been a week of roller-coaster emotions.
a week of really high up's and really low down's.

started the week pretty happy
booked in happy , looking forward to the day i turned 21.

sunday

met up with ks , johnnie and terry.
lunch was great !

monday

first day of the working week and we get tekan by the instructors.
damn bad mood.

tuesday

my birthday , but no different from any other day.
glad that my platoon mates tried to make it different (:
and heh , got a cake from the Commanders !

wednesday

a rather short day at site
a good day too , booked out for a rather long nights-out
went home to rest for awhile
met shane for dinner
went back to camp ...
and lol , shane kena summoned while we were having dinner cause he didn't put a a coupon on his car :S
oh and S1 finally solved the admin problem and i got promoted to LCP , heh , backdated to March.
and woo. SIT offered me a place.

thursday

nothing much to say about it

friday

the longawaited results for my MRI.
and the news is not good at all.
i went in expected them to say the MRI came out with nothing , that i'd just be fine with lots of physio for my back muscles.
but fate likes her fun.
turns out i have a slipped disk.

i can't be bothered to type out every single thing that ran through my mind since i got the news.
too many problems are gonna come out ... and i'm not looking forward to the administrative nightmare that is gonna result ...

there are some other things that are on my mind too . but there doesn't seem to be anyone i can talk to about ... i can't bring myself to type it out ... and i'm supposed to be mature enough to handle this ... so i shall just take time to think through things ... i can't keep repeating my mistakes , my actions . it's just stupid .

gotta find the strength to pull through this situation.

399 to go.

2010-05-01T08:59:00.002+08:00

back from a week of CEC training.
and the only thing i can tell you is.
appreciate your construction workers.
their work is really really tough and the conditions are taxing.

booked in to find out that a platoon mate's Dad , suddenly passed away ...
makes you think , really , that life is fragile ...
just when you think you've gotten used to the way it's going ...
life takes a change ...
sometimes for the better but mostly for the the unexpected ...
attended the wake on Mon evening , after the first day of practical training ...

the rest of the days were basically a repeat of the same
get up in the morning , load stores and move off to the training ground
after a long and tiring day of work , we'll move back to camp
and clean stores.
the part which i think is extremely crazy is the condition of cleanliness the stores must be in ...
this last week is probably up there in the shagness rating as a long outfield
and did i mention for us guys who've been in the army for a year , the instructors treat us like recruits . makes it feel like we're back to square one . wtf .

and the best part was , it rained almost everyday ... awesome much ?

for some weird reason , i've been smiling alot to myself.
hopefully , it's for a good reason , and not that i'm going crazy or something ... heh.

time waits for no man

2010-04-25T17:23:00.003+08:00

and that quickly , a four day break is coming to an end ...
what have i done this couple of days ?
not much of what i actually set out to do ... heh ...

promised myself that i would sort my photos out ... never did get around to that ...
maybe i'll do a rush job later ...

thursday

went for my very first MRI scan for my lower back in the morning.
it's an experience that I wouldn't like to repeat any time soon.

had to wear that silly gown again , and frankly the first time for my x-ray
i already hated it
this time was worse ... had to walk quite a distance in it ...

being loaded onto the MRI machine feels like you're being loaded onto a coffin.
and as the "bed" I was lying on moved slowly into the MRI ...
i felt a sudden panic attack and extremely claustrophobic ...
i calmed myself down my thinking happy thoughts ...
and tried to fall asleep ...

but just as i was about to fall asleep , the sound of drills and other construction equipment filled my head . through the ear plugs ... and when i opened my eyes , all i saw was the top of the MRI machine less than 3 inches from my face ...

eventually i managed to drift back to sleep and before i know it , the scan was over ...

it sure felt like forever ...

later that afternoon , went for an interview at SIT for the UNLV course , Hotel Administration.

on a side note , i'd just like to say , i'm glad that my friends think i'm good enough for SMU , but alas i didn't apply this year .

anyway , felt the usual interview panic , but after it started , everything was easy .
after so long away from the academic world , it felt good to be intellectual again .

in comparison to the SMU interview for Social Science i took last year , SIT's interview was much much easier and alot less stressful.

it was a group interview and the other candidates i felt were all rather unsure of themselves , or to put it simply i was overly confident.

not sure if i'll get the offer , but if i do , it's NUS vs SIT.

much debate with my friends over the choice i should make , but the NUS course i have right now , is hardly what i really what. the UNLV@SIT course is much closer to what i'd like to do.

had i applied for and gotten SMU ; SMU vs SIT would be a very very touch decision.
but heh, for the heck of it , i'll just apply SMU next year.

went home and for the first time in close to a year ?
i cooked dinner , grilled chicken and minced meat with tofu .
and my mum cooked the vege's cause vege = not my thing.

friday

went to catch My Rainy Day's at Cine with SJ .
quite a good movie , but most of you people are just gonna say it's not something you wanna catch ... i'm just the hopeless romantic and i enjoyed it <3

was supposed to go shooting after that , but it rained in the evening .
again ... the weather's been hopelessly rainy these days , and humid as hell ...
and it always doesn't rain when i'm not in the mood to head out to shoot ... grrrrrr

saturday

hanged out with ks and johnnie
was supposed to go bowling , but we didn't.
ended up doing nothing much the entire day , except move from one place to another
we did catch The Bounty Hunter , it was ok la. way better than the average chick flick.
chilled at Cafe Cartel till they chased us out .... heh

sunday

lazed around.
'nuff said.

partially reviving my blog , shall blog when there's something to blog.

fool again.

2010-04-23T08:31:00.002+08:00

really it's no one's fault.
life's just like that.

it's just me. as my 21st approaches. i look back at this life i've led.
i've got nothing much to show for it.

my studies haven't been fantastic.
i never did get around to losing as much weight as i wanted to.
i've made friends but really how many ?
a handful. most are just aquaintences.
my dreams ? frankly, i never dreamed much when i was younger.
while others have always dreamed of a future job as something.
i can't even look beyond the next few months.
my love life ? it's been a series of infatuations that i take FAR FAR too seriously.
the hopeless romantic ? think that's me.
i never give up. and i just end up making a fool of myself time and again.
as a good friend puts it.
"what stupid "i don't care what's gonna happen i'm going to do it anyway " thing did you do this time"

well , i haven't done anything of that sort recently , just too tired of trying even.
but hey , if i do , i'll always let you know.

拿得起就要放得下

i must start to put certain things down.
before i drown myself in emotions i can't control.

maybe i'm on too negative a note today. maybe.
haven't been feeling at ease with myself.
the inner peace i had a month ago just disappeared.

if we ever meet again

2010-04-09T07:31:00.002+08:00

totally addicted to that song man !
the music , the beat and the lyrics.

wonder when will i start to tire of this song ... LOL

ok , back to life.

been one of the slackest periods of my NS life so far .
but it's not gonna last ... cause ...
June till Sept's gonna be like hell ...

but heh , from now till June it'll be awesome !

got a new laptop recently , totally awesome speed ; or rather in comparison to my old one yeah
can so totally game again , realized the reason i stopped gaming was cause my old laptop couldn't take it at all lar ...

now doing photos in photoshop and lightroom are a breeze , but i end up gaming anyway ... :x

have been on and off about my photography , always wanna do it , but either don't have the inspiration for it or just too tired to head out ... so totally looking for people to shoot with !!

looking forward to meeting up with friends in the coming weeks , realized we meet up more often these days but we think it's furthur apart ?

used to be we meet like once every couple of months now it's every 1 or 2 months and we think it's far apart ... we must be getting older ... which we are =/

i made some realizations in the past few weeks that i guess , everyone's been trying to tell me forever ... but things like this , you only realize when you do realize it.

otherwise it's like it never happened.
first hand experience is still the best way to learn.

i realize i'm being vague , but if you're still reading this , you probably know what i'm talking about ... so yeah ... hehe

and oh , since you're here , do take a look at my photoblog and let me know what you think huh !

http://mypicturesmynotes.blogspot.com/

i'll never be the same again

times seems to be passing a lil faster these days

2010-03-20T08:35:00.003+08:00

it's been a while since i felt the urge to write here ...
readership must have plummeted like a stone ):

but nevertheless as i've said before
this will serve as a record of my thoughts
it's been ... 2 ? months since i last wrote here

much has happened in this time ...
i guess i'm a much happier person now ...
what with my gradual adaptation to life in my unit ...

but really nothing much has changed ...
for so long as i'm still wearing green ...
there'll always be a constant reminder of the period i'm in ...

on the bright side ... it's less than 3 months to me being a one year solider ...
so looking forward to that !

been working on my photography on and off ...
some weeks i have the time , opportunity and inspiration
other weeks , it's just dull ...

prob this weekend i'm gonna do lots of post-processing
but i just feel so lazy ...
god ... why do i snap like crazy when i'm shooting !

couple of weeks of photos to process ...
not to mention i've not uploaded photos for a long time :P

oh wells , gonna be online most of the day ... so might write somemore later ...

but for now .... just know that
I'm still here !

new directions

2010-01-24T18:48:00.002+08:00

i seem to be going through my life,
at this point of time that is,
in a huge circle.

i seem to be going through almost the same ups and downs each week
sure, some weeks it's better, but others it's just bad.
my creative inspirations seem to have left me.
and i miss them so very much.

i guess , i'm going to have to make an effort to relight those fires.
otherwise, it's just gonna take a heck load more effort in future.

i've had some inspiration from some blogs,
their sayings provoke quite an amount of thinking.

and hey , imitation is the best sort of praise.
so with inspiration from " http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com/ "
i shall attempt to start something like it.

_________________________________________________________

in ns life,
nothing much has changed.

amazingly manged to break my ET stick during Exercise on Monday.
shows how bad the terrain was for shellscrape digging.
even PC and PS didn't bother to dig.
but for the upcoming MajorEx , gotta do something about it.

Tues and Wed passed by in a blur.
most of us were to shag to remember much.

Wed and Thur COCC Parade Rehearsal went by in a blur.
didn't participate and hence got a arrowed for lots of saikang.
bleah.

Friday
rained the entire morning, which meant a morning of rest.
COCC Parade started at 6pm.
which meant that bookout was rather late.
reached home too tired to do much.

Sat
met up with ht and finally shane after sooooo long
was great to catch up.
met some of the other serve cambo ppl for siew wai's 21st bday
managed to catch the last train home.

Sun
today - spent most of the day resting.
back acting up again ...

on a side note , realized that this year is the 21st bdays of those born in my year ...
while most are planning parties and stuff ...
i think i'm just gonna disappear on my 21st ...
ok ... i can't really disappear ... cause i'll be in camp on the day itself ...
but i'll just pass this year as quietly as possible ...
afterall ... being in ns ... it's not exactly the most joyful thing eh ?

______________________________________________________

been thinking about one singular decision that i made last year ...
like ht said ... it'll be my biggest regret of 2009 ...
and i brushed it off back then ...
but indeed it HAS become my biggest regret ...

i made the wrong decision for the right reason ...
but why doesn't that make me feel any better ?
because i guess , sometimes ,
you gotta do the wrong things for the right reason.

some opportunities only come once in a lifetime.
blink and it's gone.
i blinked. and now she's gone.

words that few will see

2010-01-17T18:03:00.002+08:00

it's been a while since i last blogged.
a month to be exact. it's not like anyone really misses reading what i write here anyway.
most peoples blogs have mostly died out cause of the advent of other technology such as Twitter , Facebook and godknows what else.
so i guess not many still see a reason for blogging.
afterall , it takes precious time to type out these words that few will see or even read.
in my circle of friends and family , blogging has more or less died out ...

why than am i here ?
well i guess if not for others,
i'd like to keep little reminders of my thoughts and what i've done
what not use a diary than ?
the thought has occurred to me but i'm still too lazy.
i've gotten a free diary from starbucks.
just a simple book. but these days in camp, there just isn't the right feeling to sit down and pen down one's thoughts. time is best spent unwinding and relaxing one's mind.

much has happened since my last entry.
most of it things that have made me happy.
right after my coy's exercise in dec
was nearly two continuous weeks of leave
during which i spent much time catching up with friends and family

spent the first couple of days in penang with my vschoir friends - zx, johnnie, jeremy and roy.
although it was short and rather rushing ... i still enjoyed it
it felt great to be out of singapore and out of my routine life
was a great chance to practice my rather rusty photography skills.
most of the photos are on facebook so i'll be glad if you would pop there to take a look (:

met up with most of my close friends over the christmas period ...
my first christmas in the army ... didn't really feel very christmasy
still the company was good

met up with cousins amanda , xiang and shuwei for a day of photography and chillin
went to the bukit timah rail way tracks , haji lane and ate at like 4 different places !
really enjoyed myself and got some good shots , which are also on facebook
hehe

spent the days before new year's day catching up with johnnie and ks on two seperate days ?! talked alot. really felt like we didn't have a worry in the world ... but it was just a brief respite from the world.

spent new year's eve at Dian's 21st , was the first time i actively took shots for such an event
it was fun and interesting and i'm rather glad the shots came out ok , was shooing at iso1000 and was worried about the noise ... after the party , rushed down to meet ht , nick , kel , fab , daryl and josh and marina square for the countdown to the new year

new years day was spent meeting my SI buddies to catch up
wanted to catch a movie but timing for that day were really screwed up
ended up just chillin, having dinner than went back home.

spent saturday evening meeting up with some of my serve cambo 07 teamates
kudos to Joel and Vanessa for organizing
must say it's been damn long since i met them
for some since school ended and for others even longer than that ...
great to catch up with them once again and hopefully , future gatherings will have more of us !
pictures for this event i just uploaded on fb yesterday

spent sunday morning meeting perlyn , liana and ht.
got quite a surprise when the first thing i heard when i met them was that liana was getting married !
turns out she's just getting engaged soon, but grats to her and Ez !

first working week of the new year was mostly range.
failed my atp as it was the first time i was even firing the m16 ... bleah ...
gonna have to go for a reshoot sometime ...

my ipod and laptop have both decided to start dying on me ... hopefully they last for another few months ... i have however gotten a new ipod ; an iPod touch and i love it !!

playing with it for just a short while , has already cemented thoughts of getting an iPhone when i ORD in my head ... speaking of which ... ORD seems nearer with each passing day ...
at least after the new year ... i can say that i ord NEXT year instead of next next year ... hehe ...

ahh well , going to the jungles of lim chu kang again , tmr =/
this time tmr , i'll be digging one of them shell scrapes ... bleah ...

till the next time i decide to write something again ...

i'm off ~

nothing is certain ; ever

2009-12-13T18:00:00.001+08:00

one moment you think you've made up your mind
you've decided that you want to do things this way
the next moment , you're forced to do otherwise
but you do so ; unwillingly of course

next thing you know ,
you find out that it's not all that bad
and slowly you come around ,
and you decide to put in your all

and just as things are looking up
you know it's too good to be true ; when you have no worries at all
sure enough a problem arises ; and they don't come easy
nor do they come alone but in groups and from different angles

in two weeks , my head's done a 180
and my thoughts are thrown to the four winds again
i've decided , what the hell , might as well chiong with all my heart
afterall it's not like my position is as tough the the pioneers
and there's nothing to lose in getting fitter

but just as i decided to do so , here comes the problem
my back decides to act up ; and it's not a one off thing
i had reported sick a couple of weeks back
and the MO said lets treat it as a muscle strain
fast forward to last week around Wednesday
and the pain in my lower-back suddenly comes back
tolerated the pain and went through 2 days of outfield
spent the weekend at home resting up , and it didn't get better
reported sick on monday when i got back to camp
ended up with a Specialist Appointment , and a month's excuse rmj and heavy load
spent the rest of the week not doing much
and most of this weekend resting
and as of now ... it still hurts ...

no idea how i'm going to survive the upcoming 5d4n outfield ...

not to mention ; i've still got to worry about my tasks as a signaller
the pioneers have the commanders to do most of their planning and stuff
so the odds of something screwing up are much lower
and the responsibility is not entirely on the pioneers .
i'm but a mere private ...
yet as of now i have to worry about comm's for the whole company ...
worrying about all the equipment and their workability
having to worry about their accountability and maintenance
things that a signal spec are supposed to do ; not a signal operator
i'm not trained or paid well enough to do so much ; yet i must do so
hope our signal spec comes over soon ...

written so much ... and it's all army stuff ...
bleah ... that's my life now i guess ...
haven't got the energy to worry and think of other things ...
perhaps , i'm just suppressing my thoughts ?

some friends told me recently
that a couple of weeks back , when i last met that
it seemed like i was troubled over emotional issues ...
they didn't tell me than of course ...
the reason i'm mentioning this is cause , i just wanna ask ,
am i that transparent in my expression of self ?
i've not told these group of friends much recently
not that i wouldn't tell them , but there's just nothing much to say
and we just don't meet that often like we used to ...
worst yet ...
a friend from long ago ; whom i've spoken almost nothing to in the last couple of years
just read my mind just from what i write here and there online
am i that predictable ? am i that transparent ?

the irony is what he commented hit home
what i'm doing , what i did , and what i write or say
doesn't really matter a damn.

there's really not much i can do to win the heart of this girl at this point in time
distance is too much of an issue , and ns doesn't exactly help with communication
being stuck in camp almost 5 days a week and not being connected to the world really killed off my communications with her ... used to be that i'd talk to her on msn almost daily pre-ns
i myself don't really know what she thinks of me ; previously at least
and i've probably been living in my own dreams ; literally
come to think of it ... given the circumstances ...
some of the things i wanted to do (which thank god i never got around too)
would be rather weird/awkward / creepy?
given our relations now which would be somewhere around ... maybe friends
half a year ago ,
which is about the time i enlisted , i'd say with confidence it was friends ; perhaps a lil more
but now i just have to let go slowly ...
hopefully , i retain a "he was a nice guy" status

gonna have dinner soon , and thereafter bookin to camp
the bright side is , after the next couple of days , some long due breaks are coming up !
only going to be in camp for 2x half days from next Saturday !

so i'm gonna give all my secrets away ~

the world is a sad sad place

2009-11-29T17:48:00.002+08:00

and i'm just another one of it's sad sad inhabitants
i don't know how long this will last ...
perhaps till i find myself at peace with myself again ...
or perhaps when i've a much clearer picture of the world
which i thought i knew , but has apparently decided to reshape itself again ...
i admit , it's my own fault , for being too into my own comfort zone ...
for thinking that everything will be alright , and everything will always stay the same
that it happens to others and never to me ...
well , some things do happen to others and not to me , the things that i really want ...
others , my worst nightmares , have barely just begun ...

never imagined i would get so stressed and upset over ns ...
but truth is , i've never felt so helpless , so useless and so alone before ...
the irony would be that prior to ns , i thought it would be a great experience
to get out of my comfort zone , to tough it out ...
call me a weakling ... but i'm ready to call it quits ...
this life is too tough for me ...

i've never been this mentally , physically and emotionally burnt out that before now ...

i've seen some of the best sides of people and some of the worst ...
and the wonder is that you can see both sides within split seconds of each other ...
i've seen that in the interests of self , people are ready to abandon you in a split second ...
i've also seen that there are those who are ready to help you , who help without a second thought ... and for the latter , i'm very grateful

it's all in the mind , but right now , my mind is about to really explode into a million pieces ...
i want my old life back ...
but just saying that is not gonna change anything ...
and it's not like i can really do anything about it ...
i can but do nothing and just wait as the days go by ...

i've suddenly lost my purpose in life
i've lost the smiling cheerful me
and i want it back.

someone help me find myself again.

if this post is incoherent , it's cause i can't even think straight anymore these days ...

quiet times

2009-11-15T17:27:00.003+08:00

it's been a while since i last wrote anything ...
much much longer since i wrote anything much of my thoughts and experiences ...

ht mentioned something about the fact that he can't seem to pen his thoughts these days ...
i realized that most of us now in NS ... are the same ... and i'm starting to realize why my friends who were in NS seemed to rarely update their blogs ...
at the end of the week , you're much too tired ... and everything you do ...
is either mundane , classified (~_~) or just so ARMY that only guys who are in the army now would even be able to picture it or get the joke ...

realized that more and more ... the only topics i can think of when i'm hanging out are army , bitching about army , a little about cameras (but no one's really interested) , reminiscing back about times gone by or just lamenting about my almost dead social life.

most weekends , all i remember is just sleeping.
and eating. and trying to do something.
but rarely do i get anything completed.
it's as if a part of me, has died and the rest of the body just can't really function without it.
the thing is , what has changed ?

can anybody tell me ?
i personally feel that i've been smiling a whole lot lesser ,
been feeling less cheerful than i'd normally be ...
is this culture shock from being in my unit ?

i feel so useless. like as if my time and youth is being wasted away for no purpose.
and when i get home on the weekends , i'm just too tired.

i don't even think i'm making sense any more .

i need a timeout . EOY , i finally get my leave.

a new chapter

2009-11-04T04:07:00.002+08:00

the time now is 4.07am.
by 7.45am , i gotta be at Jurong Camp.
reporting to my unit, where i'll be, until the end of my national service.

mixed feelings about my decision to break away from the platoon.
on one hand, i know i'll miss the friends i made in the short 6 weeks at SI.
07/09 IC2 will forever be in my memories , the good , the bad and the ugly.
i won't miss the chaokengs , the retards and the plain morons though.
i just pray for the rest of my platoon mates that they aren't stuck with them for the rest of their national service . let these fuckers go to the various coy lines and the rest of the platoon remain in HQ.

to me, life outside of army has come to an almost standstill.
i guess.
most times i come home and just sleep the weekend away.
i've never felt so drained before.
i've gotta be the only crazy person who's stressed over NS.
i think about every thing that's gonna happen , worried about what's gonna happen next.
all i want is to pass my 2 years in service peacefully.
i don't want trouble , but trouble keeps finding me.
i don't mind doing my part . but when others throw their work over . it's when i get really dissed.
it's life they say . part and parcel . yeah . i totally understand that . but , bloody hell . after a long day outfield , i'm sure everybody is also tired .
some really excel in the art of bochup.
they can take Att C and Att B to avoid guard duty entirely.
as a result , two of my poor platoon mates had to do guard duty 3 times .
majority did 1x 24hour weekend duty.
but these two poor guys did 2x 12hour duties and 1x 24hour duties.

of the entire platoon , i can say that a safe majority truly deserve to earn the right to be called trained Signallers . the rest . i hope to never hear about again .

outside army , the world continues to revolve.
without much of a regard to those within.
so many things happen.
but we are ignorant.
if only you could keep your feelings that way.

shall find time to write some other time.

home , again . only to leave , again .

2009-10-17T00:22:00.003+08:00

home , once again .
somehow , time spent in camp seems to go by so slowly ,
and time spent at home seems to go by so quickly ...

well it's actually been a rather fast week,
most of the week was spent preparing for line-ex
line-ex itself
line-ex recovery
and the rest of the the week went by in a blur .

but this weekend will be a short one.
a very very short one.
for tonight , i'll be booking back to camp at 2230 ,
and tmr i'll be doing my first guard duty ever .
something i've managed to avoid for like since enlistment .
for 24 hours i'll be on SUNDAY guard duty .
one of the most hated days to be on duty .

but as others have done before ,
and others will do after ,
now it's my turn.

it's the start of many many duties in my NSF life .

hopefully , all goes well.

2 more weeks and we'll be through

i just haven't met you yet

2009-10-10T00:07:00.003+08:00

seeing that girl looking dreamily at the guy she fancies
smiling that sweet sweet smile as she bids him farewell
just makes feel warm and funny inside
and makes you wish that
a girl would smile that same way to you too
but i guess
i just haven't met you yet

that new Michael Buble song is nice !

i'm back, even if for just a little while ...

2009-10-03T09:27:00.003+08:00

yet another week has passed at SI,
and it's starting to become routine.

PT on Mondays , Wednesdays and Fridays.
Lessons and starting from this week Practicals the rest of the time.
Starting next week, Exercises and Outfields will begin.

Come Friday, there'll be an 8km route march , which I so do not look forward too.
But for all that , I'm starting to like my time at SI.
Nights out was something new , being able to get out of camp for even just a few hours, was quite a morale booster.

The outlook for the weekend looks good !
Gonna meet up with lots of friends !
Than book back in come Sunday at 2130.

Hmmm , nothing much to blog about cause everything is Restricted so ... Silence is Golden !
Might do an update on this weekend tmr :D

livin' for the weekends !

recruit -> trainee

2009-09-26T00:18:00.002+08:00

and so i'm back.
from my first week as a Signals Operator Trainee ...
no longer am i a recruit ...
but a trainee ...
which is basically the same thing , except that , my rank is Private !

let's just say i was most unlucky in my assigned course
and got the most chiong sua course at SI
i'm in the course that will result in my carrying a manpack radio set.

yet , for the past week , i've been studying like crazy !!
more so than i've ever done in school , or for school !!
add that to the PT ...
and i've been through one of the most mentally straining weeks in the army thus far !!

but for all that,
my bunk mates,
platoon mates ,
platoon sgt
and all those around have been great !

lets see how this course gets as we go on !

it's been quite a while ...

2009-09-21T22:56:00.001+08:00

been about a month since i last typed an entry out
never found the time to pen down my thoughts

been rather busy during the last few weeks of my BMT
if i'm not out , i'm in camp
spent an entire Saturday on the 5th doing my BTP
booked out for less than 24 hours that weekend ...

time spent in camp the last few weeks was mostly spent
finishing up all PT activities,
clearing admin stuff,
slacking in bunk,
graduation parade rehearsals,
moving from K Coy to C Coy , which by the way has fucked up Bunks,
preparing for the epic 24km Route March
marched the 24k's
POPed the next

block leave has been great
really enjoyed myself , and i think i put on weight.
starting tmr , i'll be on course as a signals operator at Stagmont Camp
hopefully i'll be able to use the gym and do some OTOT !

will write more when i get the time .
i should probably start an offline journal , but i hate to write physically.

are you missing me ? cause i sure am missing you ):

what a difference a year makes

2009-08-23T23:11:00.002+08:00

or does it ?

just realized last night,
that wow, it's been a year since i came back from Beijing.

an entire year
during which so much has happened.

there are so many things i would rather have done differently.
so many things that i wanted to do, but never did.
so many things that i wanted to say, but never did.

given the chance,
i'd want to live the last 365 days all over again.
but would the choices i make this time,
really make any difference ?

sure,
in theory, it would.
in hindsight,
perhaps ...
these unspoken words,
these undone actions,
would seem like they were the correct ones.

but it's not like i can go back in time and change anything ...
for better or worse , i've got to live with my choices
live with my decisions.

after all,
the only way to live life,
has, and always will be, to live it forward.

que sera sera

23 days to P.O.P

one more month to POP and i am so happy ar

2009-08-16T15:26:00.003+08:00

seems like i've been on Tekong like forever ...
but the last month has finally come !!

and all of us can't be happier ...
for every day that passes , we're one step closer
to leaving this godforsaken island

booking in later at 1955 hours
not really looking forward to it ... duh ...

spent most of this weekend ...
not exactly sure doing what ...

caught GI Joe on Saturday
with Sam and Nick Han
it was pretty awesome !
went to Astons after that.

met up with ht and explored ION.
it was so freaking crowded that although we went with the intention to take shots ...
i couldn't find anything to inspire me , or maybe i was just too brain dead ...
went to Orchard Center , much quieter
hope it stays that way ... but when it's fully open , i guess more crowds will be expected.

on the way back
took some shots at Istana Park
quite a nice little park

haven't been taking much photos lately ...
haven't been uploading photos since quite a few weeks back ...
i think the quality of my photos has gone down quite a bit ...
their just not as beautiful ...
or maybe NS just fried my brain =/

maybe after POP ,
things might take a change in direction ,
one can only hope ?

some questions ,
just have no answers ,
and even if they did have answers ,
would you really want to know what the answer would be ?

perhaps ,
the course of some friendships ,
have just run out the course of their life.
whatever it is ,
i'm happy that ,
if even for a short period of time ,
we thought of each other as friends ;
goodbye ...

some people come into our lives and quickly go.
some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts;
and we are never the same.

lay down your arms ; give up the fight

2009-08-09T00:18:00.005+08:00

do you know what's worth fighting for,
when it's not worth dying for ?
does it take your breath away
and you feel yourself suffocating ?
does the pain weigh out the pride ?
and you look for a place to hide ?
did someone break your heart inside ?
you're in ruins.

when you're at the end of the road
and you lost all sense of control
and your thoughts have taken their toll
when your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
your faith walks on broken glass
and the hangover doesn't pass
nothing's ever built to last
you're in ruins.

did you try to live on your own
when you burned down the house and home ?
did you stand too close to the fire ?
like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone

when it's time to live and let die
and you can't get another try
something inside this heart has died
you're in ruins.

recently , i've been doing lots of thinking.
something you don't really do alot of as an NSF , much less as a recruit.
in the army , you're "Excuse Brain".
you don't have much of a choice in what you can do, and when you do it.
the loss of freedom, is something you'll never get over.

i find myself much too tired to bother about the outside world.
yet events in the outside world affect me.
i try to ignore the outside world.
yet the outside world reaches in to touch me.
when i try to reach the outside world,
the outside world forgets i exist.

and i find myself wondering.
what the hell am i doing here.

the very next moment ,
i'm staring into space , not a thought in my head.

once upon a time ,
i was naive enough to think that ,
i should give it my best shot during my 2 years ,
that i should do my best .

then i realized ,
there's no point doing anything well ,
when you don't get paid well enough ,
don't get recognised ,
get nothing but more trouble for being friendly and helpful ,
and get under appreciated
the base line is ; it's not worth your time to be so enthusiastic.

the best thing i can do for myself for the rest of my nsf life ,
is to not bother about things beyond my control ,
and just enjoying every moment of my freedom during bookouts

this post is so negative , i should just delete it ... but i just need to get this out of my system.

a short update

2009-08-02T19:45:00.002+08:00

it's been a busy two weeks ,
a very tiring two weeks ,
but it's over.

i've cleared all outfield events for my BMT life ,
and i can't be more thankful .

Field Camp and SIT Test are both OVER !!

and i survived to tell the tales (:

will write more when i next bookout , next weekend.

spent most of this ultra-short bookout sleeping ... haha ...

out of 24 hours , i prob slept , around 12 hours ... and the rest nuaing ...

till next week !

goodbye world , once again .

take care all ~

2009-07-18T22:11:00.003+08:00

a new blog-header.

cause i got bored of the old one.

best viewed in 1280 by 800

the secret of the world ; is written in the stars

listen to this (:

2009-07-18T17:19:00.002+08:00

you don't have to understand it , just feel it
music knows no boundaries

the 4th day ...

2009-07-16T09:32:00.004+08:00

technically the 3rd
since monday night shouldn't count by default
but yes , i'm still feeling the edges of this bout of sickness
the fever is gone . as of tuesday night .
but the cough and body ache and tiredness is all still there ...
haven't done anything at all that can be considered productive ...

been sleeping the days away ... basically , rotting .

never thought i'd say this , but i really miss training .
but based on the rumor mill , things in there aren't exactly in the best of conditions now too ...

thanks to everyone for the well-wishes
really appreciate it (:

how bad can this get ?

2009-07-14T09:34:00.002+08:00

so i'm out of Tekong after slightly more than 24 hours there.
5 days attend c . which means i book in on sunday night.
down with fever . cough . and what not .

didn't even get to finish my range .
although some knowledge is public . much cannot be disclosed .
so i'll just leave it at that .

gonna spend the next few days trying to do some productive things at home .
and resting well ,
and hopefully recover fully in time for field camp .

so near yet so far

2009-07-10T23:51:00.002+08:00

and yet another week has passed ...
though time seemed to never move while on Tekong ,
truth is time did move , and the weekend has come yet again ...

although yet again ,
i've not planned for anything this weekend cause in camp ,
you've only got time to think about what's tomorrow or just not thinking at all ...

the moon over Tekong has been beautiful this past week ,
bright , round and oh so near.

an inspiration for a poem , truly.

so near ; yet so far

a night like this,
many there are not.
with the moon so near,
and the stars so bright.

the sound of waves crashing,
the flocks of birds flying.
upon this island,
we call tekong.

i sit and wonder ,
while the others yabber.
i think of you,
like i've always had.

i remember once,
when looking up.
the night sky that i see,
would the sunny skies you bask under.

you were so far,
yet so near.

now whenever i look up,
the night sky that i see,
is the same night sky you gaze upon,
yet somehow it's different now.

you are so near,
yet so far.

what separates us,
will forever be time,
and space.

i am here,
and you are there.

though we're both here,
in our Singapore,
it feels more like,
i'm somewhere far away.

so near,
yet so far.

i guess by now , most of my readers have disappeared
just as most of the people i used to talk to have disappeared
it's not unusual , it's just life.
people just move on.
i guess i have sort of come to terms with it.
than again, i'm too tired to even bother.
much as i miss the times gone by.
their just that.
times gone by.

the past week has been a very very tiring one.
by far the most tiring one so far.
and it can only get worst.

started off with a route march on Monday.
3+ Klick's , we estimated closer to 4 cause OC took us on an extended march through School 1.
FBO without Long 4.
It felt good as we were still fresh from the weekend.

Tuesday had AC again,
and the last BCCT lesson.
Which was really a "test" of all that we learned.
The rundown really really intense, and burned us all.
It was that tiring !

Wednesday was Day 1 of IFC.
Welcome to the Jungle they said.

Put on Camo for the first time.
Not a completely enjoyable experience.
It was pretty much like something out of Army Daze.
Sgt Alex just said , you have 10 mins to go into the Jungle , and put all sorts of leaves and whatshit on yourself.
Than all hell broke loose.
It was really quite funny !

Learnt about Group Fire and Movement ,
was rather interesting , something more "Army" to most of our school of thoughts.
but for all that , it was DAMN TIRING.
and we would have done more training if not for a CAT 1 ! xD

Had a lesson on Field Signals after that in the comfort of a training shed ! ^^

Thursday was Day 2 of IFC ,
Spent the morning learning to build a basha,
followed by Ranging and Arc of Fire.

Spent the afternoon in the light Jungle following Sgt Alex through the outskirts of the jungle practicing Field Signals , it was damn funny when Zi Li "Hollanded" and led a section worth of men in the wrong direction.

Again , training ended rather quickly due to another CAT 1 .
But we're all praying for ZERO Cat 1's during our field camp.

Today we had route march again , 4 klick's with the same FBO without Long 4.
This time for some reason, it was even more tiring than Monday's route march.
Perhaps our bodies are already dead tired from a week's worth of activity.

Today is also bookout day and PAY DAY !! (:

But other than that . Life sucks.

i want nobody, nobody but you.
but you don't know that, do you.

and it all seems to go downhill ...

2009-07-04T07:45:00.003+08:00

my life outside ns that is.

everything's going on fine in the Army.
training is revving up ,
and although it's tough to keep up , i'm doing my best to keep up.
thus far , i haven't fallen out yet , and come next week ,
i should be back to 100% with my throat healed up and my aches , rested , i hope :d

the past week has been a rather slack/tough
short periods of intense training and many short rest periods
or one long period of intense training followed by long periods of rest
of course rest isn't really rest , but time for Area Cleaning.

we missed one route march on Thursday afternoon because of a Cat 1 ,
which is a warning for thunderstorms or bad weather.

Route March on Tuesday
IPPT on Thursday
and Friday's AC and ST back-to-back combo were the most intense periods of the week.
Not to mention BCCT with Rifle on Tuesday and Friday.

but i toughed it out , and hope to continue toughing it out over the next few weeks
which will prove to be a test of endurance , with Range , Field Camp and SIT Tests coming up.

Coming on on Monday will be another Route March with FBO without Long 4 if I'm not wrong.
Well , at least our LBV's are not fully loaded with Mag's and stuff.

I realise that I've used quite an amount of lingo ,
so I'll explain some of them.

AC : Aerobic Conditioning
- A walk/job with increasing distance and pace over the duration of BMT.
Thus far , we are at jogging.

ST : Strength Training
- Circuit Training with various exercises to train different muscles

BCCT : Basic Close Combat Training
- Unarmed Combat , or Combat with the Rifle when it's out of bullets or the enemy is too close.

FBO : Full Battle Order
- Everything you take into battle. Duh. Long 4 , LBV , Field Pack , Rifle and godknows what else.

LBV : Load-Bearing Vest
- The vest where all your stuff is hung around in pounches for (supposedly) easy access. Includes pouches for Spare Magazines , Grenades , Water Bottles , Torchlight , SOG , and so on.

but enough about the army.
because that's exactly what's killing my life outside of NS.

ever since enlistment like , 4 weeks ago ?
my social life has been slowly dying.
and about this week , it just totally died out.
i've spoken to less than 5 people who are not from my Coy this weekend , my family not included.

when i first started NS ,
i thought that ,
hey , there will be lots of of friends out there
who'll be around if i need someone to talk too ,
or who'll be free to just chill out with ...
and my whole mindset towards NS was all positive ...
but frankly , with the reduced communication ,
it's bloody impossible to feel the same closeness
that was there before NS.

basically , almost the entire world forgot about my existence.
it's not like they did it on purpose.
but humans are like that.
what's here and now in front of you ,
will be more forefront in your thoughts ,
will be more important.
out of sight , out of mind,
well , i just happen to fall into that category.

and the world never seemed so foreign than right now ...

2009-06-29T08:34:00.002+08:00

don't let someone become a priority in your life
when you are just an option in theirs

words of wisdom ; will you heed them ?

3 down , many many more to go !

2009-06-28T09:09:00.003+08:00

2nd bookout ,

it's been a rather slack week , due to some issues ...
i felt like i wasted half my time in camp ...
which is somewhat true ...

been zoning out alot since i booked out ...
as if i've got nothing on my mind to even think about ...
or perhaps i've just denying it ...

ht told me :
" when you think of nothing , you're really thinking of something you're trying not to think of "

i guess that might be true , but at this point in time , my mind is still drawing a huge blank.

3 weeks into NS , and i've realized so many things ,
about what my friends have been talking about ,
i've always chided them for being negative and all ,
but as an NSF now , what they've been talking about has come back to haunt me ,
as i myself now harbour thoughts similar to theirs ,
try as i might ,
everyday is a battle between trying to be positive and do my best
or being negative and just trying to get along with the program .

when you're really tired , sometimes , you just want things to get over and done with.

in other news ,
find out some things i'd rather not have found out , or rather would rather have heard the information from other sources , but what will be , will still be , so there ...
can't say i'm not disappointed that i was left out of the loop and just left to my own devices to find out about it though ...

booking-in again tmr.
time to once again be isolated from the outside world.

the basis of life can be summarised in three words. it goes on .

back for a while ...

2009-06-20T07:06:00.002+08:00

1st BOOKOUT !!

and I've got to bookin tomorrow at 2015.
Not alot of time , but better than nothing.

so the first two weeks of confinement and BMT have passed.
so much has happened , so much has changed .

made new friends , adopted a new lifestyle , attempting to adapt.

after hearing of firsthand accounts from many friends who have gone through BMT , it still doesn't prepare you for the moment when you hit the ground.

even though I'm in a Mild Obese Coy , it's still quite tough , discipline is not compromised , and they treat us like slightly less tougher that a PTP batch I suppose.

if not ... than i wonder how those in PTP and enhanced suffer !!

gonna head out in a while ,
catch up with friends and such

write more later .

Aiky

last words

2009-06-05T10:33:00.002+08:00

at least for a bit ... haha

So it's today , 5th June 2009.

Today I enlist into the SAF , and become (for the next few weeks at least)

Recruit Ng.

I'll be Twitting and updating Facebook via Twitter while I'm gone.

But of course I can't see any of the responses , oh well , at least you people will know what's going on !

Added the Twitter Widget on the left of the Bar , so you can see that too .

Well , this is it .

Goodbye Aiky.

Hello Recruit Ng.

and you still don't know

the last 3 days of freedom

2009-06-04T23:36:00.002+08:00

have come gone ~!

and the last three days were kinda the best (:

2nd June 2009 , Tuesday

celebrated Liana's 21st at Carousel @ Royal Plaza on Scott's

most ex and most interesting spread of dishes (in Singapore at least) that i've been to !

pictures are mostly on Facebook , only the good ones of course ;)

the desserts were TO DIE FOR !

met up with Willy later on to take shots are Marina Barrage ,
got to play with his *mouthwatering* equipment while he played with my louya lens and WAA ,
lol
thanks man ! shoot again soon !

3rd June 2009 , Wednesday

long long long day out .

morning bowling
with Kel , Nick and Fabian
was on an average form so nothing outstanding.

ice-skating in the afternoon ,
Yee Teng and Daryl joined us.
it was really fun , as the other guys didn't really know how to skate / skate well ;)
enjoyed going round and taking shots with D5K on ice !
played with the Video Recording and LCD Swivel Combo
impressed with the functionality !

Dinner was my suggestion and I made the mistake of suggesting a far off place.
Like EXTREMELY far off. How far off ? Changi Village .
We took nearly 2 hours to get there which by than , everyone was starving =/
My bad =d

Took a stroll after dinner at the beach , the very same beach that I'll be looking longingly at for the next 4 months ... Hahahaha

Anyway pictures are on Picasa , I've emailed the link out already people !
If any of them even read my blog ... Hahaha !

4th June 2009 , Thursday

Spent the entire day at home ,
packing ,
slacking ,
as if it's just any other day
just the way i like it :D

Had YongTauFoo from my fav store for lunch (:

So , it's DDay in just a few short minutes .

Oh and I've just signed up for Twitter !

http://twitter.com/AikyLeng

and linked Twitter to my Facebook .
and my mobile line via SMS to Twitter.
so watch out for my Status from Tekong !

cause you bring out the best in me ; like no one else can do

just a few more to go

2009-06-01T19:01:00.002+08:00

3 whole days of freedom left.
people are starting to ask how i feel ,
whether i'm prepared and so on.

frankly , it's just another milestone of life.
as a Singaporean , Male.

I'm not excited , nor am I in a state of extreme distress , or as some put it ; sianzation .

and frankly ; in my current state , i couldn't be happier !

in the past few weeks , i've lived life the way i wanted ,
and i would love for it to go on and on and on ,
but all good things must come to an end ,
and it's not like my NS days are a bad thing right !!!

so what have i been up to , that's not already on Facebook ?

quite a bit , been quite lazy to upload my photos on facebook !!

hahaha !

let's continue where i left off the last time

(note , you should skip this post ENTIRELY , if you're in a hurry , this is like just for my reference :x )

Monday, May 18th 09

Caught Angels and Demons with Kelvin , Fabian , Kenny , Suhar , Daryl and Nick.
Played some L4D while waiting for Tricia to join us for dinner ,
and I'll always remember Nick for throwing a Molotov at me with full hp causing us to NOT complete Mercy Hospital.
Had dinner at Astons , had the iEatSuperBurger , AGAIN !

Thursday, May 21st 09

Met up with almost the same group of people as Monday , minus Suhar and Tricia , plus Yee Teng , for an excursion to the Science Center !
*note henceforth this group shall be known as Kel and Gang*

LOL !!
It's been some time since I've been there !
But nothing much has changed . In other words , had I been there myself , it would have been extremely boring lar ... But I wasn't , so it wasn't (:

Had fun taking shots , as can be seen from 3 albums worth of shots on Facebook.
More than that were taken of course ;)

The DaVinci exhibit was quite disappointing , cost quite a bit , and we couldn't take pictures in there ... so booo =/

Dinner at IMM , Ajisen Ramen , will upload photos to the food album soon.

Friday , 22nd May 09

Went for Facial with Mummy at Spa Valley at Orchard.
Went to meet daddy for lunch after that.

Went home to grab the car and pick up Bro and Sis and went bowling at Kallang.
Bowled my then high score of 171 !

Went to meet Dianny for dinner , at Vivo .
Couldn't catch a movie as almost everything was sold out till , after midnight -.-".
Sent her home then went to town.
Met Nick KH Yvonne and others after they finished their dinner at NYNY at CityLink , just to chill for a while.
Went on home.

Saturday , 23rd May 09

Woke up at 6ish to go to the beach to take some sunrise shots.
Quite disappointed with majority of the shots , it's probably the cameraman ; me
Gotta learn more and practice more !!

Met up with Xiang and Shuwei at 12ish at Paya Labar.
Cause I had a heavy breakfast , I passed on lunch , while they had Mos Burger.
Chilled out at Starbucks to kill some time before the concert.

What concert ?

Distant Worlds ; Music From Final Fantasy

An excellent concert !!
And very well worth my 17 Bucks , student price ;)

Went back to Xiang's place for the family BBQ ,
prior to BBQ , i was busy practicing and shooting stuff.
Ended up with lots of repeats ... Hahaha ...

Had a great time just talking with my cousins ,
caught a movie and a half on Uncle Jimmy's Home Theater System ,
and just chilled ~

Sunday, 24th May 09

Chilled out with Ks and Johnnie at Marina Square in the afternoon.
Bowled at what I would describe as the MOST CUI bowling alley i've ever been to in Singapore.

Went for dinner with my entire family , on my dad's side ,
the last time we gather for dinner before I enter the army.
Food was so so ~

Tuesday, 26th May 09

Went bowling wih Kelvin , Daryl and Nick.
Bowled my best game ever , 173 .
Rest were crappy.
Went for Ban Mian at Roxy after that.

Wednesday, 27th May 09

Met up with Shane and Ht for lunch at my place,
than went bowling.
Thanks to my damn cui arm , bowled my worst games ever. =/
Met Liana , Perl , Wanxia, Weizhen and Garie for dinner.
Caught Night at The Museum 2 with Perl and Garie.

Thursday, 28th May 09

Met up with Kel and Gang for Terminator Salvation.
The movie was errr, ok lar ...
Just couldn't stand that the Machines were so imba and overpowered.
Explored Orchard Center , Mos Burger and a Jap Restaurant on the 7th Floor is already opened for business. The rest is still under renovation though.
The food court is on the 11th floor. Quite a cool place to be when it opens !

Friday, 29th May 09

Brunch at Changi V with Mum and Dad
Went to Pasir Ris Park to take shots.
Went to Tampines 1 to take a walk around.
Went home to fetch Bro and head for dinner.
Had dinner at Billy Bombers , surprisingly, the food at the Marina Square outlet was quite good !

Saturday, 30th May 09

Met up with Zhi Xiong , Roy and Jeremy for dinner.
Dinner was Hanabi at Odeon Towers.
The food was so so , probably cause it was filled to capacity ...
Mass production equals a decline in quality =/
They tried Sake , and i took half a cup , and couldn't take anymore.
Damage was $46.50 per person :O

Sunday, 31st May 09

Met up with some Serve Cambo peeps , Vannessa , Josephine , Siew Wai , Vera , Anderson and Ht for dinner and some cathching up .
Dinner was at Astons at The Cathay and Dessert , Ice Monster at PS.
Was great catching up with all of them !

Monday, 1st June 09

Met up with KS to chill , he just finished the Sundown Marathon yesterday.
But was limping around everywhere we walked yesterday !
Hahaha !

and here I am , writing out my memories of my last days of freedom
and like i said earlier , I couldn't be any happier than right now (:

dancing in the moonlight ; everybodys feeling warm and bright

the last thing on your mind

2009-05-22T02:59:00.002+08:00

don't think too hard,
if you think it hurts that bad.
don't talk about it,
don't let it get you down.
it's only one part,
of the story.
just let it go ,
don't let it bring you down,
now.

memories of yesteryear

2009-05-21T01:50:00.002+08:00

for some reason ,
i suddenly thought of you.
i haven't thought of you for some time.
and somehow this memory just came to the surface of my mind again.

i can't recall if it was after work , or perhaps one of us was off.
we took a bus intending to head somewhere.
but on the way, we decided to check out another place.
it was a rather long ride.
we got on the bus, the sun still in the sky.
we got of the bus , the moon shining down on us.

we walked in and out of shops,
looking at all kinds of things.
clothes , accessories and other things.
we walked passed shops long closed for the day,
lights still on showcasing their wares.

i remember we walked into this shop ,
looking at little figurines , snowglobes and fluffy toys
you know , the kind from precious moments ?
you said you didn't really like things like that.
but still you picked out a mini carousel for my sister
which , you kept saying looked beautiful

we continued on for a while ,
and then it started to rain.
and not just a slight drizzle at that,
it was a huge thunderstorm.

i remember, that between us,
there was only your tiny umbrella.
and much as you tried to shelter me,
i tried to make sure you were covered by the umbrella ,
of course resulting in me , getting rather wet,
but that didn't bother me , just that you were under shelter,
was good enough for me.

you insisted that we take the bus ,
and save some money.
i insisted we catch a cab ,
wanting you to keep dry and be comfortable,
as we made the long journey home.

we eventually caught a cab,
and all worries about the rain,
were forgotten,
as the cab drove through the city,
we called home then.
we talked , we laughed ,
it felt like we'd known each other forever.

it's that time of the week again

2009-05-18T09:48:00.002+08:00

the time i actually blog something out !!
not like there are people who come here everyday anyway ..

are there ?

so anyway , another week has just gone by

and i'm left with 18 *gasp* days to go .

wow . i just calculated that , and realized it's just over two weeks from now.

and just a while back it was more than 50 days to go.

time really does fly.

May 12th 2009

The last time i'd ever set foot in Ngee Ann , as a student at least.

Graduation was kinda anti-climatic for me ,
Afterall , it's been over 2 months since the last exams ,
And we've known our final results since late March .

Managed to be "late" for the last time even .
We were there on time lar ... but cause we met our parents first , we ended up reporting late .
Bleah .

L4D before that was cool.

Picture taking was prob the highlight of the whole day though ,
The ceremony was dead boring . >.<

Part 1 of Photos
Part 2 of Photos

May 14th 2009

BBQ at Hong Yi's place.
Met lots of people for the first time.
Got reacquainted with some people.
And revived my long dead BBQ skills :x

Photos on Facebook

Here , here and here .

May 16th 2009

Met up with KS and Johnnie to catch Star Trek.
Quite a good movie IMO , but no matter what Star Wars > Star Trek.

Went down to City Hall (the old building not the shopping center)
One Fullerton and The Merlion to take shots after that.

Will upload soon.

Need to do some editing.

May 17th 2009

After sleeping less than 5 hours ,
It's off to Sungei Buloh.
It was a miniature family gathering with 4 families meeting up for it.
Took lots of pictures.
What started as one group at the entrance ,
Split into two groups upon entering ,
Than Me and Aubrey formed the 3rd group that was trailing behind everyone cause we snapped pictures of everything in our path :x

Pictures will prob be up tomorrow or Wed ,
Lots of editing and reduction to do !

Went to the various farms too look, look , see , see.

Had lunch at this restaurant at FarmMart .
Food was ... Mmmm , so so.
Had fun playing with my D5000 though .
And heh , Aubrey used ShuWei's DSLR to capture some nice shots of me with my camera <3

Was great hanging out Cuzies <3

See ya all next week !!

BBQ !!

lol , i'm gonna get cancer
so many bbq's :x

18 Days to NS
CHIONGGGGGGGGGGG ARRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

almost lover

2009-05-11T23:39:00.000+08:00

goodbye, my almost lover
goodbye, my hopeless dream
i'm trying not to think about you
can't you just let me be?
so long, my luckless romance
my back is turned on you
should've known you'd bring me heartache
almost lovers always do

;and that's how i feel right now

it's been a while

2009-05-11T09:27:00.002+08:00

yeah , been wanting to write an entry for some time but ... always so lazy ...
or not in the mood ...
hahaha ...

lets see , when was the last entry ...

wow ... two weeks ago =d

guess lots has happened since then huh ?

hahaha

from the last post you'd know i've just gotten a DSLR
and i'm playing with it to bits !
haha ... ok that's an over exaggeration
so far as of now ...
just under 1000 shots taken ...

been taking lots of pictures ...
and playing with the camera is really interesting !
learning many things about what my baby can do everyday (:

will slowly upload the earlier shots
but for now , shots from the Singapore Flyer and the BBQ Albums on my Facebook ,
are taken with my D5000 =D

may 1st

spent labor day morning at ECP ,
testing out my new baby (:

spent the day at home

spent the evening at Mt Faber testing out the night capabilities
which at that point , not really knowing how to use .. shots didn't turn out tooo well ... =d

may 2nd

met ht in the afternoon to go collect his grad attire
went to Botanic Gardens to play with my D5k
took lots of interesting shots ...
will upload them soon ...

may 3rd

had an early bday celebration at home
ate too much =d

may 4th

turned 20 .
lol .
went out with Perl , Liana and Ht for dinner at Singapore Flyer
Nick joined us later .
played with my D5k doing night shots ...
these are on facebook already !

may 6th

went to acer again .
fucked up .
cmos battery died .
traveled all the bloody way there and back .
to change a tiny little component , when they should have checked everything.
they kept my laptop for a whole bloody week no ?

may 8th

went to catch The Ramen Girl
it was a good movie ...
till the ending ...
which left a huge wtf in my head .

may 9th

BBQ !
it was tiring planning and getting everything organised
but it all turned out well
and those who were there , i hope you've all really enjoyed yourselves as much as i have
photos are ALL on facebook !

thanks for coming guys and gals !!

words fail to describe everything ... so not gonna type a huge chunk here ... hehe

may 10th

met up with ks and johnnie for a belated bday lunch
thanks guys !!
had dim sum at some shop in geylang , good stuff
walked around the suntec area , and esplanade
played with my D5k till battery died =d

and that's about the whole of last week in summary

would have written a mega long entry for each had i written them on the day itself but alas =d

hahahaha

Graduation's tmr . Mixed feelings about it . =d
Hell , it's not even the main thing on my mind ... haha .

love is blue ; and i miss you

2009-04-30T23:19:00.003+08:00

guess i've been missing for a few days huh ...
only around 4 days =p

i think i miss being online more than people miss seeing me online =d
i'm so gonna die on tekong not being able to communicate with the world other than through this 2G cellphone.

sent my laptop for servicing on monday ... and haven't gotten it back yet ...
that's 4 days ... than only at around 7 just now did an sms come informing me that my laptop is ready for collection ... i was like ... wtf ? aren't they supposed to send it back to me !! bloody hell it's in the coverage lar !

so anyway went to JP after sending my laptop for servicing ...
weijie ended up getting a shitload of things ...
while all i spent was on lunch , which was pretty good
the Taiwanese Beef Noodles at the Basement of the new JP
the set meal was not too bad

spent tuesday gaming .
the less said the better.

wednesday , went to collect my army specs ...
yes ... black plastic frame ...
than went to bishan to meet shane to head down to school
got our grad attire ... we were wondering ... why would people buy the gown for ?!
after that went to Funan to check out camera prices
quite a bit more expensieve at Funan compared to Sim Lim

today

went for a facial in the morning with mum
wah ... shiok man , my face never felt better !
than a haircut in the afternoon ...
mum wanted to do highlights ...
and i was not gonna wait two hours ...
so ended up meeting zx and roy for a X-Men Origins
the show was not too bad ...
quite surprised they remembered my bday is next week and got me something !!
thanks guys !!

went to meet my dad after that to get a watch for NS ...
and also ...
my LONG AWAITED DSLR !!!!
wahahahahaha ...
THANKS DAD !!

ok waiting for the battery to charge ...
tmr ... i'm gonna play with it !!

42 Days to Go.

2009-04-25T23:18:00.003+08:00

well technically less ... since it's close to midnight .

finally got around to performing maintenance on my laptop today ...
and guess what ... the defrags barely halfway through and i started at what ? 10am ?

and it's only a 35GB portion of the HDD.
and the last time i reformated this was ... erm ... lets see ... at the start of year 3 ?
so 1 year and my laptop is so badly messed up ... christ ...

i haven't been able to do anything on my laptop except wait for facebook to take forever to load
bleah .... and i so badly wanna do some things in photoshop >.<

went to sim lim to check out the cost of servicing my laptop cause the dust and all that's trapped inside has been causing it to overheat ...

found out what ? it costs 50 bucks . MINIMUM . to get the insides cleaned out . and 20 bucks more to get the Thermal Paste redone. HOLY CRAP.

and some guy quoted me 210. siao eh -.-

so i called up Acer with the intention of getting a quote from them ...
turns out what ?
my warrenty is still valid !
and until the 21st of May ...
hell , i'm gonna go down and get them to change everything !!!

love lift us up where we belong ; where the eagles cry on a mountain high

43 Days to Go.

2009-04-24T09:40:00.002+08:00

Good morning Mr NG AIK LENG.

Your enlistment date is on 05-Jun-2009. Your reporting unit is TRAINING LIST BASIC MILITARY TRAINING CENTRE SCHOOL 1.

This is it.

2 Years To Serve The Nation.

thou shall not sin

2009-04-21T23:21:00.003+08:00

but i have !

holy crap !

the sin of gluttony.

twice. in two days.

well ... to be fair ...

on monday . it was the only thing i ate all day.
having had fruits for dinner.

and yesterday. only had half a packet of rice for lunch.
and having exercised on both days !!

went to meet Ht yesterday for dinner
and to plan something

for dinner , we had this

This monster is called an iEat SuperBurger
In case you're wondering , it is indeed related to that Blog.

This monster of a burger is only $12.50 !!
And I have had it twice is two days !!

What's in this !

A Giant Burger Bun
Fried Onions
Cheese
Bacon
Lettuce
Tomatoes
Mayo
BBQ Sauce
A GIANT BEEF PATTY !

Ht said that after eating this , other burgers can't compare to this.
Well to be honest , with the prices of fast food nowadays , and the quality of the food ...
It's true !

A note of caution.

This is a really huge burger , and although it comes with no sides,
It is VERY filling.

Do come on an empty stomach.

Oh , this is at Aston's.

2009-04-21T15:33:00.002+08:00

i just realized how stupid i am .

actually that would be an understatement .

gahhhhh . time to remove those rose tinted glasses .

and slap myself back to reality .

just because you think things are going the way you think they are .

doesn't mean they REALLY are .

bah .

don't ask.

looking at pictures of food while on diet is a bad idea

2009-04-20T21:32:00.002+08:00

yet , just a moment ago ... i'm doing just that =O
hahaha ...
and feeling all the more hungry for it ...

pass few days have passed in a semi-blur ...

saturday and sunday were the two HOTTEST days in recent memory
and the humidity took the cake ...
people were sweating buckets even with their fans at full blast ...
blasting them with HOT and HUMID air ...

met up with a mixed group of VSchoir people on Sat
Zx , Roy and Jeremy , the Seniors
and Ks , Johnnie and Terry , my peers

roamed Vivo City , which I am now EXTREMELY sick off.
having seen the same shops more than 6 times in a month ...
it's starting to get VERY boring.
and the food at Vivo ain't fantastic if you're not gonna spend alot .
by alot i mean around $40 per pax.

if you're on a budget. the food courts here. aren't exactly cheap.
not to mention the food is nothing to rave about.
it's edible i grant you that.

had dinner at a steamboat buffet place behind daiso ...
after tax and service charge it's about 20 bucks for NSF / Students
a few things i like about this place are the
fried mantous ,
the sesame sauce *ma jiang* which lacks it's companion garlic oil =/
the abundance of mushrooms !
some of the cooked food stuff is not too bad too , the fried ribs are nice =d

after dinner quite bo liao ...
walk around ... see see look look ...
ended up at Gloria Jeans just chilling ...
only Roy got a drink in the end ... hahaha
not bad lar ... 3 bucks for two tables , and the chairs that come with them
=x

went on home ...
decided to take the long route , that is 65 straight from HarborFront Interchange
with KS and Johnnie ...
talked more ... about the usual silly things ...
we just can't grow up lar ...
though we all sorely need too

decided on the spur of the moment to make a stop at Mustafa to look look , see see
quite interesting this place ...
but 2nd time there in 2 days ... haha
would love to shop here once i've lost sufficient weight ...
the amount of candies they have here is =O
more of the old school things you'd miss
but a word of caution
at mustafa , the prices are priced ANY OLE HOW.
you can have items that are priced SUPER CHEAP.
or items that are priced SUPER EX.
you must know your prices well !

caught the near last 65 around midnight
and got home ... in time to feel the mega hottness and humidity
which i dare say is the worst weather at night i've ever experienced as far as i can remember.
i started sweating immediately after leaving the shower ...
and had no choice but to turn the aircon on

slept well though.

Sunday was boring.
Sunday was hot.
Sunday was humid.

I wasted Sunday away.
So I'll skip to Monday ~

Went to meet LimYi for lunch just now
last time we'll meet before he goes in for NS
of the male cousins , he's the first to go in ...
than followed by me ...
though by right , should have been me first lar ...
but i chose to go to poly ... BUT thats a different story.

had lunch at Astons , and i tried the iEat Burger.
THIS BURGER IS GOOD STUFF MAN !!
DIE DIE MUST TRY if you are ever there !
shall not elaborate ... i had fruits for dinner ...
thinking about it will make me feel like crap >.<

went to play L4D for a short while at Paradiz

than walked back to The Cathay to catch Knowing.
It's quite a good movie actually , the intensity is really there .
but the ending. SUCKED. big time.
really.

came back home , did 30mins on the bike
had fruits for dinner ._.

and spent the rest of the evening ... nuaing ... lol ...

so need to find a job ...

and WHERE ON EARTH IS MY ENLISTMENT LETTER !!!!!!

GRRRRRRR

that song you love ; keeps playing in my head

lets try this one more time

2009-04-17T21:39:00.003+08:00

as of today , it's the end of day 2
of my diet / exercise regime

day one , managed to jog 2.4km before totally dying out.
yes that's how bad my physical shape is now.

also have dramatically cut down on food intake
having only about half of what i'd normally eat for lunch
no snacks except fruits
no sweet drinks , only ice water
for dinner was soup , abeit with quite an amount of ingredients , no rice and of course fruits.

day two , today.

met up with wei jie for the first time in eons ... ok not really eons ... time just seems to past rather slowly ...

decided to try out a "new" place reputed to have one of the best prawn mee in singapore.
took us some time to find it ,
and when we found it ,
turns out the place is more of a breakfast/lunch market
and we were like SHIT ... the stall better not be closed already
the first prawn mee store we saw was closing ... and we were like CRAP !!!
but than we realized ... eh this guy has zero newspaper cuttings ?!
and they have fishcake !
so can't be this store

we found the actual store one row away
and they were almost closing ...
not much noodles were left ...
we hastily ordered
the prices were 3 , 5 , 8 and 10 bucks

we both got the 5 bucks portions
when we saw the 4 rather huge prawns in our noodles (beehoon in my case)
it was a huge plus

wei jie went off to order fried prawn mee from another stall (apprently quite famous as well)
we tucked into our prawn mee soup
and FWAH . the soup was super delicious.
thinking of it now makes me drool .
confirm + chop i'll be there again sometime soon ...
perhaps i'll try the 10 bucks portion just to see what's in it ?!

went to mustafa after that cause weijie never went there before ... LOL
damn lot of things there luh ...

went home without the intention of eating anything but fruits ...
than mum told me that dad said go out for dinner ....
i was like ... than i better not go ...
so my family went out for dinner

i did 35 mins on the exercise bike
after the initial aches from not using muscles for so long ....
the feeling was good ...
the sweat felt refreshing ...

had dinner of fruits afterthat ....

spent the rest of the evening chatting ... and oh doing this blogpost ...

tmr's plan , jogging (hopefully) , fruits for lunch and dinner outside.

icebox ; where my heart used to be

better later than never

2009-04-14T23:10:00.002+08:00

looks like i might be slightly more active for a bit ...
depending on what is there to say ?

anyway the time stamp should show last night ... but i'm writing this on the morning after ~
but that's not important anyway ... haha

spent half of yesterday waiting.
thanks to a certain mr heng hsein tze.

this ass asked me to meet him at 12noon at central. his work place.
guess what time i reached. 12.01.
what time did he get down ?
friggin 12.30. -.-"

so of to lunch. i recommended a place to him at central.
known for it's black pork.
a Japanese place that i first dined at when central first opened in early 2008

i'm not gonna say which one it is ... haha ... it's for me to know and for you to find out =p
anyway no pictures for that ... we were two hungry hungry guys so eat first talk later.
cause we were damn budget , we ate the Black Pork Shabu Ramen which was at 13.80
after GST and Service charge i was 16.20 per bowl

hardly expensive for good ramen !
the soup is boiled over two days and is very very rich
the pork is excellent though meager
and the noodles good quality stuff !

if you're ever out with me in that area ... perhaps you can ask me and i'll tell you which one it is ...
other that the ramen , the black pork tonkatsu which i had previously was also pretty good ...
i shall have it the next time i'm there bah !

oh and there was this very cute waitress at the restaurant but ... too bad she was very chinese ... if not i would surely have asked for her number !

we purposely hung around after finishing our food =s
lalalalala

anyway , mr heng had to go for his dental.
which up to this point he didn't tell me what for.
so he did.

knnccb. wisom tooth extraction.
thanks ar. i knew i was in for a butt load of waiting. =.="

not to mention he can't eat anything after that ...
good game.

made our way to NDC.
and indeed. a butt load of waiting.
we were there early.

but. they just didn't want to call his number.
and when they finally did.
it was just to get him to check certain things.
long story short.

MAJOR BUTT LOAD OF WAITING LAR.

so anyway , finally they removed his tooth.
and i couldn't stop laughing.
it was damn funny lar !!
he can't talk properly and his mouth looks swollen.

made our way down to Tampines 1 to meet Perlyn.
for some unknown reason, prob to do with food.
i don't like being around Tampines. TM, Century Square etc.
and Tampines 1 was crowded like nobody's business.
i step in , i'm already damn sian.
than again i was sian most of the day, lack of sleep

there was a crazy queue outside uniqlo.
i mean wth ?!
the beijing uniqlo was sooooo empty.
and much bigger.
and i didn't even get anything there than !
wols.

quickly made our way out of Tampines 1
and went to TM for a quick look around.
TM was DAMN empty.
like wow, first time.
checked show times , but all were quite late ...
and we weren't in the mood to do catch a flick anyway.

so decided to get out of Tampines !!
xD

and go to the Airport ~

pictures here

had dinner at the food court at T3 which was pretty damn sucky.
but at least Popeyes saved the day and we were pretty much ok.

Popeyes is <3

right ... off to L4D

the last thing on your mind ; will keep you at your best

insomnia

2009-04-14T01:02:00.003+08:00

can't sleep. feeling damn restless.
this is day godknows since school ended.

and i'm jobless.
and without a fixed purpose in life.
which actually means the same.

the army doesn't want any of us yet.
so it seems.
and my luck with finding a temp job is exactly zilch.

so now i'm reduced to this state of boredem.
yet at the same time.
i just don't feel like doing a damn thing at all.

what a waste of time eh ?

just gonna give a rough run though what's been happening recently

as far as my memory can bring me eh ?

ok fine . i cheated . i'm gonna use facebook to refresh my memory of what i've done.

xD

20th March 09 - Friday

Results released.
Got the best acad results of my 3 years in poly.
Not counting attachment.
Finally Officially Graduated.
Well, at least almost. Still have to be presented with the Diploma proper.

24th March 09 - Tuesday

Went to JB with Ahmad and Ht.
A really really great trip and we really enjoyed ourselves !
The food was awesome !

Pictures on Facebook :

Part 1
Part 2

Video's

Rooooooot Beer
Sizzling Grill ~

I'm too lazy to post a full scale account ...
It's been too long ...

(:

25th March 2009 - Wednesday

Spent the day on Pulau Ubin with Dianny.
Really enjoyed myself (:

'Nuff Said.

Pictures on Facebook

Part 1
Part 2

27th March 2009 ~ 29th March 2009 || Friday ~ Sunday

Bintan !!

5 Guys. 4 Beds. 3 Days. 2 Nights. 1 Island.

4 Beds cause one was a King sized bed =d

Hehe.

Anyway kudos to Shane for finally getting off his butt to plan this ~
Was a really enjoyable trip other than the fact that EVERYTHING was in SGD.
And the Ferry leaving at 8pm ~_~ .
But at least we got to see a really beautiful sunset (:

Pictures on Facebook.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

2nd April 2009 - Thursday

Had Perlyn Ht Kenneth and Shane come over to my place for some Guitar Hero

Handful of pictures on Facebook.

Click Me !

3rd April 2009 - Friday

Letter of Offer for NUS came.

But sadly, it's for the Degree in Project and Facilities Management.

Which means I got rejected for Biz and FASS ):

Still, it's a spot at NUS.

Happy that at least , I've got a place to go. Hehe.

7th April 2009 - Tuesday

Got a call from SMU Admissions informing me that I've been shortlisted for an interview.

On Thursday. 48 hours notice nia ?!

The sad part is, I've been rejected for Business.
So it's the School of Social Sciences Interview that i was shortlisted for.

Well , at least I got an interview.

9th April 2009 - Thursday

D-Day for the interview for SOSS.

I've answered an the questions of how it was and what questions were asked so many times since than ... that I don't wanna think about it anymore .

Haha. Although if you ask me in person , I'll still say . BUT NOT OVER MSN ANY MORE.

Went for dinner to celebrate Weizhen's Bday which was on Wednesday in the evening.
Original Plan was to have Aston's at The Cathay .
But they said meet at 7.
Hahahahaha. They've never been to Aston's before lo =p

But it was great catching up with them.

Mmm... Nothing else is THAT memorable , just normal ... so just gonna leave it at this

everything seems tempting ; but nothing comes for free

the ghost of you and me

2009-03-16T00:05:00.004+08:00

it's been a while , exactly a month since i last wrote an entry
than again , it's not exactly fair to say it's a full month cause Feb has but 28 days ... hahaha

fine it's been more than a month since i wrote last entry ... lols

to be honest , i've been putting off blogging for quite some time for quite a number of reasons ...
of course ... the only real reason is cause i'm plain lazy ;)

ask me what i've done in the past month ; nothing really productive really
took the last exam i'll ever take in NP on the 27th of Feb at 2PM

the feeling of relief after finishing that paper ... can't really be described
and the looks of joy of having finished our 3 years in Ngee Ann Poly were evident on everyone's faces

so at that moment in time we'd unofficially Graduated ,
and closed yet another chapter in the story of our lives

some people will make guest appearances here and there in later chapters
some people will continue to make regular appearances in the next few chapters
some people will be right there in main roles
some people , i'll just say goodbye, farewell and best wishes for the last time come graduation day.

looking back , the past 3 years have been really eventful
and everything has made me into the person I am now
no doubt many things have changed me for the better
but some things have made me regress even more

first year was where we all started
and whether for better or for worse
where we first met each other
we had lots of good times, hardly any bad times
lectures , tutorials , they were all so much fun

second year was when things started to mess up
all good things come to an end ?
yeah they do.
admittedly , i still believe it was quite my fault ...
but after all's been said and done ... lets just leave it at that
so many things happened ...

third year was a whirlwind of events
spent the first half of the year doing my attachment in Beijing
i pretty much immersed myself in life there ...
never really thinking much of the life i left behind here ...
i've never really written my story of life over there ... and i don't intend to start now either
second half of third year ... was a mess of projects ...
which i believe is fresh on everyone's minds
so nothing much more i shall say

truly , the last ~~two~~ four weeks have given me lots of time to think through
and even than , there's still plenty more reflection to do ...

i've still not sorted out the mess that is what do i really want to do after NS ...
sure i'm applying for University and all
most likely doing Business at either NUS (if they want me) or SMU (if i get in)
but what do i really want to do after that ?

for the first time in what seems like forever
i was actually feeling down , due to nothing more than inactivity rather than anything else
everyone knows my problem with the fairer sex ... but sometimes it's just best not to bother too much ...

what will be will be ... even though happiness is for you to achieve ...

the date of this posting is of that of two weeks ago ... so i'll just finish this part right here ...
and write a new post for the two weeks after this date ... haha ...

it should be more interesting i suppose

it's been a long time ...

2009-02-16T02:33:00.002+08:00

since i even felt this way.
and it's all because i overthink things.

this entry shouldn't even be written.
cause i don't have the mood for it at all.
but i guess i do need a channel for this.

been thinking about the same thing for days.
getting back the logical answers.
thinking along logical lines.
and the answers make so much sense.
the only person i'm deluding is myself.
there's no way this is happening and for too many reasons to list.
so what's the point in deluding myself?
because of what?
pride?
ego?
the belief i should give it my best shot?
the fact that i don't know how to give up?
or is it just plain simple me being as stubborn as a bull like the taurus i am.

i'm just tired.
finally finished all there is to do.
and after the two final papers next week.
i'll need to do some serious soul searching.
what do i really want.
what can i really get.

and hopefully. get some answers.

perhaps this would give me some sort of a gauge.
perhaps.

三个问题。一，喜不喜欢？二，喜不喜欢？三, 喜不喜欢？

updates soon !

2009-02-13T01:08:00.001+08:00

幸福是一个水晶球从天空掉了下来
掉到地上摔的粉碎碎片到处都是
人们都会捡到一片幸福的碎片
有人捡到的多
有人捡到的少
但是没有人全部捡到...
跌在地上会变成很多碎片，无论你怎么努力，都捡不完，
但只要你努力了，怎么都会捡到一点...

25 Things You Might Not Know About Me ?

2009-02-02T00:12:00.002+08:00

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you!

Of course, you might know a fact here and there but do you know all?!

Disclaimer : I seem to have written what seems like a pretty long essay instead of just 25 Random Facts, so read at your own risk. It might be too much information for your own good. Not to mention fill you brain cells with useless information.

And a friend pointed out to me that technically, there are more than 25 facts in here. More like a hundred. Hahaha.

~aiky

1) I am such a procrastinator I have put off writing this lots of times ... Got tagged on blogs a couple of times too. And I'm only doing this now to avoid doing work. For a fact, I often study for exams just slightly before I am to take them. The earliest I have ever studied for an exam is 4 days before the paper. The only exception I would suppose is for my GCE O Levels which I studied weeks in advance.

2) I never got around to creating a Friendster account. Which brings me to the point of why did I ever create a Facebook account. I still don't recall. Hahaha.

3) My closest friends are all guys. No, I'm not gay. I blame my 4 years in VS. Although I really had great times there. It's just easier to bond with guys. I guess NS shouldn't be a problem than.

4) I really love music. My iTunes and hence my iPod currently has 2870 songs. That is because I'm too lazy to put many of my songs in. These songs only occupy 14.41GB of HDD space. In truth, I have closer to 50GB of music. Most of which most of you have never heard of before. Most noticeably absent from my collection are Metal and Trance.

5) Notice how my random facts are super duper long? I like to explain myself very thoroughly. I hate being misunderstood. And this means that I suck at summary. In fact, I blame the Summary section of my GCE O Level Paper for bringing me down to an A2 grade.

6) I love reading. I can spend an entire day just reading and reading and reading. And when I'm in the mood to just read, I hate it when people disturb me. More often than not, I doze of while reading. And I also end up wasting entire afternoons just sleeping. My favorite authors are Tom Clancy and Dale Brown. And my favorite series is an out of print series called Battletech. Do let me know if you have any, I'd be interested in buying them off you. Twilight would be the other series that I enjoy reading.

7) I used to love going to libraries. But in recent years, I've this bad habit of buying the books I want to read. I love re-reading books over and over again. I've spend many an afternoon at Bras Basah going through the second book stores hoping to score bargains. Once a while, I score a good book. Like how i got Blink for 1 buck.

8) Speaking of loves. I really really love my food. I'd go all the way to a place just to have something I want to eat. I'm also known as somewhat of a food critic among my friends. That is if you trust them. Hahaha. I have long list of places to go for food but most of them are hawker centers. I don't mind paying more for food if its good. But I really hate it when I pay quite a bit and the food sucks.

9) On the topic of food, after that Community Service Trip in 2007, Serve Cambodia 07, I've mastered the skill of eating lots and lots of rice with nothing but just gravy. I should be well prepared for army. Also after that I became less picky about my food. But of course that doesn't mean I don't say the food sucks. I do. Just that I've learnt to be more appreciative of my food.

10) On the same topic of food, I've only recently learnt to eat vegetables as well. I think that also occurred sometime around or after Serve Cambodia 07. I especially enjoy all the vegetables in a Subway Sub. But nothing beats meat. *RAWR*

11) My favorite meat is beef. Nothing beats a good old steak, beef hor fun, beef noodles, stir-fried beef, burger or beef-jerky. This might also be due to the fact that I was forbidden to eat beef during my Primary School days, which to this day I still don't recall why.

12) My favorite beverage is bandung. Followed by Ice-Water. Nothing beats ice-water in hot hot hot Singapore. Although I do have a weak spot for Bubble-Tea. And of course Coffee! Iced Coffees at Starbucks and Hot Coffees at Coffee Bean.

13) I actually fell asleep at this point. I really love to sleep. I would rather sleep than study. But than again who wouldn't? The funny thing about me is. I can't sleep in till late. I have this internal body clock that kicks me outta bed early in the morning. So sometimes you'll see me on MSN early in the morning. As to why I still end up late for school. Refer to point 1. Also on the note of sleeping, I have mastered the art of sleeping anytime and anywhere. It has proven very handy.

14) I am very easily distracted. And also I can't multitask very well. So if a whole bunch of people start talking to me on MSN, well guess what I won't be doing. Or if I'm watching something or playing a game, don't expect a reply till I'm done. Either that or I'll just stop playing the game or watching the show. More often it's the latter.

15) I just realized I'm such a narcissistic person. Who really wants to know so much about me? On the same note, I'm a very egoistic person. And may come across to many as arrogant in speech and action. But that's me.

16) I'm a very lazy person. So lazy in fact that I actually do things at the last minute and often fail to optimize my own abilities. This includes everything from studying to preparing dinner. In fact, I think as I've gotten even lazier more recently. Damn.

17) I depend highly on two things to pull me through tough times. My ability to learn things quickly and a good measure of luck. Yes. I admit that I abuse my ability to learn quickly for exams alot. And I mean alot. Ask me how long I studied for my previous test. And luck. Good old luck. I bet it's gonna fail me soon. But than again, it's already failed me in one aspect of life. And consistently at that.

18) I like to do things in repeats. There was once I ate Chicken Rice for lunch everyday. For how many weeks in a row I don't remember. What I do remember was that was during the good ole days when VS was at Kallang Bahru. I miss the Canteen there alot. And the hawker center too. I also love to listen to the same song over and over and over again. Currently, I just really really love Broken Strings by James Morrison featuring Nelly Furtado.

19) I celebrated my 19th Birthday in Beijing. The first time I've ever celebrated a birthday overseas. Nothing fantastic for those of you overseas and all I guess. Hahaha. Spent exactly 177 days in Beijing for my attachment with Olio in Beijing. The longest period of time I've been out of Singapore. Had a great time. Learnt many things. Saw many things. Wouldn't have changed anything in the world for those 177 days spent there.

20) On the same note of travelling, my next longest trip would have been to Cambodia in '07 with Serve Cambodia 2007 for two weeks. Another very memorable trip. I'll always remember the times we shared over the fantastic fruit juice and those excellent baguettes with those "chicken" fillings. Of course, the kids there. Made me see life from a whole new angle. I still hope to be able to do something for them again someday.

21) I've not actually been to alot of places. Rather, I seem to be going to the same places alot. I've been to the U.S three times, twice to Los Angeles, Las Vegas and San Fransico and once to Hawaii. But all these were long before I could fully comprehend things. I was aged only 4,5 and 7. Yes, that mean's I've been to Disneyland. Twice. I've also been to Hong Kong, how many times I've forgotten. But the figure's somewhere around 7 I guess. HK is <3. Been to Shanghai and cities around there. Beijing needless to mention. South Korea too. Both Easy and West Malaysia Penang, KL, Malacca,Johore, Genting, Kluang and Sarawak. Thailand once, Bangkok and Pattaya. Cambodia, Siam Reap and Phnom Penn. Batam for a day. Spent a night in Taipei while on transit. Spent a few hours at an airport in Japan, i forgot where.

22) I'm actually by nature a very shy person. Yes. Hard to believe? Why should it be? I'm by nature a very talkative person. I'll just keep talking and talking and talking. Ask my friends. They know. So if I'm not talking alot to you or if I suddenly go silent. It's cause I've no idea what to say, or what your reaction to what I'll say will be. Of course, I could just be having a mind blank.

23) I'm not a very sporty person. And I don't really watch sports either. I know nuts about football and even lesser about basketball. I only know how to Cycle, Roller Blade, Ice-Skate, play Badminton quite badly, and if Bowling counts, I'm alright with it I guess. Not very sporty huh ):

24) I was from VS Choir. Yeah. Choir. But we kicked butt. In my final year there. We got the prestigious Gold with Honors at that years SYF Central Judging. Rumor was that we were the top choir that year. Also performed at The Esplanade that year. A very great ending to my 4 years there. Some of the best times of my life in VS.

25) I could actually go on, but I sense that few would actually read beyond halfway. And the rest are probably thinking if this will ever end. So here's number 25. I've always had this idea of a fairytale romance. And I still hold that idea close to my heart and hope that it comes true some day. Someday (:

that's my 25 (:

did this on facebook, thought i should post it here as well ... tags on facebook too

oh the truth hurts but lies worse

2009-01-30T07:46:00.002+08:00

really good song ...

wanted to make it my blog song but ... couldn't find leh ... lol

remember to off my blog song before listening (:

in other news

IEA is over . Navision is History !!

Damn happy !!
And it was rather easy too ... Hahaha .... F1 is our good friend eh ?

CNY was great ... will maybe write more tonight or something ...

Weirdly ... Been getting visits to this blog from many places overseas ...

-Australia - Sydney and Adelaide
mmm ... wonder whos there ... although i don't know more than two or three people there ... but to my knowledge only in Perth and Sydney though ...

-United States - Utah , California and Texas
i honestly know nobody there . these links didn't come from search . but direct links . O.O

-France - Paris
ah ... the city of love ... but i also don't know anybody there . again , a direct link .

- Brazil - Belo Horizonte
i've never even heard of this place before

- Malaysia - KL
mmmm ... think i only know one person there ... but ... highly doubt it ... haha

-Netherlands - Oldenzaal
... first time i heard of this place too ...

mmmm needa go prepare le .... gotta go for some silly field trip to NLB =.="

~aiky

Happy 牛 Year !!

2009-01-26T11:58:00.002+08:00

Wishing Everyone A Blessed Chinese New Year !

and all fellow BiT friends , jiayou !!
Navision Rocks La !!

Eat Less Beef !
*as if i will*

a moment of rest

2009-01-22T23:22:00.002+08:00

after week after weeks of deadlines and stuff

we've finally come to a slight breather ...

the end is in sight 37 more days to go and we're free ...

but in the meantime ...

with the end of MIS Presentation this morning ...

we have a good one week breather before the IEA Test next week ...

gonna spend the next few days mugging IEA , uploading photos , and working on some stuff ...

haven't worked on anything in the past few weeks ...

what with my concentration and focus barely there ...

but now with this break ... i'll let myself really relax for a bit ...

perhaps some inspiration is on its way even now ...

meeting you was fate . being friends was a choice . but falling in love with you , that was beyond my control .

humans are creatures of emotions

2009-01-20T07:53:00.002+08:00

and creatures of thoughts ... and that supposedly makes us superior ...

is that really true ?

do we actually enjoy being able to experience these thoughts and emotions all the time ...

if you are happy with the way things are at this point of time

i'm pretty sure you will say yes ...

but if you're not ...

you'd probably wish otherwise ...

some people are able to control these emotions better ...
or suppress them in some way ...
or better yet ... channel their emotions into their work ...
and let something productive actually come out of something negative ...

me, on the other hand ...
i just shut down ...
and my thoughts just go all over the place ...

i'm quite prone to jealously ...
i'm very short-tempered ...
i'm very calculative ...
i'm prety paranoid too ...

a few words here and there ...
and i'll start thinking up theories that would seem pretty much impossible to everyone ...
except myself of course ...
i think too much about things that are beyond my control ...
i mean ... there's nothing much you can do about how others feel or think can you ?

having expressed myself ...
i'm feeling slightly better ...

humans are creatures of emotion
i'm just especially emotional

it'll all get better in time

2009-01-18T10:47:00.002+08:00

funny how it is ...
i realized that ... when i don't blog ...
visitor traffic actually goes up ...
but whenever i post an entry ...
it kinda dips ...
lolol ...

the funky IIP 4th Audit is nearing and the project looks ... erm half-baked ...
our saviour is none other than Lim Shee Chee ,
who proclaimed in class : "If I deem your IIP Project to be capable of more improvement , you can come back the week before the Final Presentation and show me again . I will not grade you next week . In other words I'm giving you two extra weeks . "

Woohoo !!
LOL ...

But seriously ... something substantial will be out by Tuesday lar ...

And Art too ...

Gotta run for now ... Lunch Awaits !!

the grass is always greener on the other side

2009-01-15T07:31:00.002+08:00

humans are a easily jealous race of beings ...

we envy others for what they have ...
whether it is time , material possessions , relationships or even friends ...

time really flies ... and i haven't touched this blog for a week ...
not that there's nothing to write about ... there is much to say ...

but time is not on my side ...
project deadlines are getting closer ...
and living on the edge ...
is one of the most deadly places to live ...

added to that is the fact that my frame of mind ...
is no longer oriented around school ...
but rather that of waiting for something to happen : IE ; National Service ...
this is gonna be really tough ...

nothing i can do except get through this period of work ...
and hopefully i survive =d

your life is as glamorous as you make it out to be

this crush ain't going away

2009-01-08T08:12:00.003+08:00

think i'm pretty wols ...
listening to songs that were hot last year only now ...
haha ... than again ... they aren't that old ...

it still puzzles me how the small things in life ...
like a few words here and there ...
a small gesture of some kind ...
can really change how a person feels in like just a snap ...

*snap*

you're happy

or maybe it's just the person who does these things ...

i guess it's just me ...
i'm so easily influenced ...
haha ...

got back all my CT papers over the previous two days ...

rather surprised with the grades i got ...
considering the amount of "studying" i do ...
these grades are really a godsend ...

IES - 80.5%
MIS - 76%
WBA - 88%
MEB - 80%

The only disappointing one would actually be MIS ...
IMO ... Could have done much better ...

Overall though ... I'm quite happy with these results ...

Been catching up on my sleep at last ...
Though the dreams still remain ...

Although recently , they've taken a turn for the sweeter .

(:

you don't always need a title

2009-01-06T22:05:00.002+08:00

it's been 6 days pass the new year ...
but hardly anything feels new ...

same old stuff still goes on ...
same old things still need to be done ...

in other words life goes on ...

hasn't been an eventful week ...

other than Victor Biao Ge's Wedding on Sunday evening ...

rest of the time has been ... boring ...

lots of deadlines coming ... lots of things due ...
the urge to just give up ... not because it can't be done ...
but the fact that doing these things has no meaning anymore ..
is getting to me ...

think i'm getting lazy all over again ...

yeah ... i'm so lazy ... i'm not going to write anything more for now ...

can't miss what you never had ... really ?
maybe it's just the feeling i miss

i'll say goodbye to 2008

2008-12-31T11:16:00.003+08:00

and here i am ... writing out this last entry for the year ...
i must say ... this year has been a very eventful year ...
and as the last hours of it go by ...
i guess i'm actually gonna miss it alot ...

where do i begin ?
there's so much to say ...
so much to reflect on ...
so much that i have learnt ...
so much i have seen ...

2008 really has been a year that i've experienced the highest of highs ...
and also the lowest of lows ...

i've made many new friends ...
strengthened some old friendships ...
lost some friends ...
lost some friendships ...

the first two months of this year,
i found myself finishing up my second year in NP
and at the same time anxiously preparing for my overseas attachment ...
the anticipation and the expectations ...
the amount of preparation work ... the amount of mental preparation ...
not to mention my jumble of emotions ... it sure was a trying time ...
but still ... it seemed to me that this was something to really look forward to ...
as something that would really change my life ...
and true enough ... it did not disappoint ...

so on the very last day of Feb ... on the 29th no less ...
there was this rather large group of us at Terminal 3 ...
the larger portion of the people sending the smaller portion of us ...
and so on that day slightly more special than others ...
i started on this journey that would last exactly 177 days ...

to begin to describe this journey in words ...
is something that will take a rather long time ...
but i will try to give a summary of it all ...

the first few days over in Beijing ...
felt like it really was a holiday ...
with no responsibilities ... and nothing much to worry about ...
getting to know everyone at Olio ...
Shirley, James, Marshall , Maxine, Angela, Alice, Jack, Lily, Li Shifu. Xiao Li, Xiao Wang, Lu Shifu, Liu Sha and Chen Ping
as well as my fellow attachment mates ...
Anthony, Yiling and Min Wee
was a truly enjoyable experience ...

soon, work set in and i had to pick up the ropes in a quick hurry ...
having never worked before in my life ...
my learning curve sure was a steep one ...
the inital few months were rather interesting ...
as there was an endless amount of things to learn ...
we met lots of people ... from many different countries ...
many whom we speak to regularly and learn many interesting things from
we met many Singaporeans whom we also befriended
Sean , Dennis , May , Meifang , Vanessa , Jennifer, Michael, Gan. Clara, Joyce and Glen and so many others ...

without all of them i don't think i would have survived this entire journey so well ...
the work soon became repetitive and the usual politics came in ...
suddenly we detested work ... and longed for it to be over ...

new blood came and some staff left ...
Hao Ting , whom i'm sure the four of us are gulity of dragging all over Beijing at times , came first ... as a part-timer ...
Fairy our new admin , who never fails to be cheerful ...
Amy, whom we all detested.
Peter , our new AM ... i tell you ... without him ... i'm sure i wouldn't have lived my last few months there happily ... he sure has a way of motivating people and he's really just pro at being an AM ...
due to the Olympics period, Olio hired several part time staff , Ferry , Terrence and Ann.

all these people have made a difference in my life there ... be it small or large ...
for the first time ever ... i celebrated my birthday overseas ...
it sure felt different ...
and i was pretty glad that my friends back here didn't forget me ...
even Wei Jie sent me an email ... that bugger ... i was rather touched ... *tears*

there were also dark periods of time ...
when i felt really lonely ...
so far from home ... and putting people in such close confines ... seeing the same commnunity day in day out ... sure lead to some disputes and arguements ...

times like those i really felt like crying ... but i just stonewalled myself ...
i did lots of silly things over there ... as many of my close friends know ...
i actually folded a thousand stars ... haha ...
thinking back ... it sure was silly ...
but i never did regret doing that ...

so many things happened there ...
these memories ... i wouldn't mind going through it all over again ...

i got to see the Olympics ... though mostly on TV ... haha
i got to do what i wanted ... eat what i wanted ...
it was freedom ...

but of course ... all good and (thankfully) bad things must come to an end ...
and i left Beijing on the 23th of August ...
on the way back i made another friend (:

there's much that i've not said ... about what else happened ... but there's really too much to say ... i'll just remember them through the thousands of pictures that i took i guess ... of the fun times ... i mean like no one takes photos when they are down are they ?

moving on ...

homecoming was weird ...
i felt like Singapore was so different after just under 6 months overseas ...
i'm not if it was me who changed ... or it was everyone else ...
or maybe everyone and everything just changed ...

i was bitching about the prices of things when i got back ...
being in beijing for that short amount of time made me feel like Singapore is this super duper expensive place to live ... but i survived ...

met up with my friends whom i haven't seen in 6 months ...
somehow things felt weird ... at least initially ...
but i guess as of now ...
it's back to somewhat like what it was last time ...
but of course ... things can't go back to the way they were ... not that i want them too ...

holidays were truly holidays ...
i did all the playing i wanted ... all the going out i wanted ...
ate all the singapore food i wanted ... not that i really missed them ...
i mean ... there are so many singaporean food outlets there in beijing ...
and so many different type of foods to try ...

before long ... school started ...
and man was it tough ...
the first thing i said was ... i'd rather spend 6 more months working ...
and i wasn't proven wrong ...
not by a long shot ...

lectures and tutorial and workshops on things i totally did not think would be useful to me thus began ...
i mean ... after starting this lectures on ERP Systems ... i swear i won't go into ERP ... not for all the cash this profession offers ... it's not worth killing my brain cells over ...

the one thing that was supposedly something i would do ... well ... i wasn't really interested during the lectures at all ... lol ... project management ...

class selection was done before sem started and the remenants of our first year class gathered for one last semester together ... but i doubt we'll ever be the same way we were again ... too much has happened ...

the end of 2008 also means the end of another phase of my life ...
the ending of my 3 year course in Ngee Ann ...

*this part onwards written in 2009*
-didn't know this would take that long ... brought my laptop out but reflections sure take ages-

my almost 3 years in Ngee Ann is coming to an end soon ...
and ... it seems like just yesterday that i stepped in Ngee Ann for the first time ...
i've said many times why i chose to enter Poly rather than JC ...
and many times, my reasons have come back to bite me ...
in times when i'm down ... they only taunt me more ...
you see ... majority of my peers and friends chose the JC route ...
to put into perspective ... in Ngee Ann ... there are only 3 VS guys in this batch
which makes for not alot of friends and connections in this place ...

thankfully i at least have a small handful of close friends ...
and a slightly larger group of people i would consider friends ...
and of course the two people i wouldn't have survived without , Hsein Tze and Shane ...
and more recently Nick ...

lots of things have gone by ...
lots of memories that will be talked about in the coming weeks leading to "Graduation"

BAOC '06 ... BAOC'07 ... Serve Cambodia'07 ... Chalets ... Outings ... Attachment ... Projects ... Class ... And so much more ...

the things that have happened ... i wouldn't change for the world ...
the good and the bad ...

recently i've been trying to come to terms with all the not so good things that have happened ...
and realized that there have been so much misconceptions and miscommunications ...
and i'm glad that some things have been cleared ...

of course ... it's impossible to ask for things to go back to the way they were ...
but i do hope that many years down the road ...
we can all look back ...
and laugh at our silly thoughts , actions and whatnots ...

in 2008 ... i really did do alot of stupid things ... haha ...

other than school ... after coming back from Beijing ...

i was trying to reconnect with old friends ...
and meeting up with old friends ...
thanks to Facebook ...

i started to get in touch with Pri School friends ...
even met a few by chance ...

also met up more with my Sec School friends whom i've fell out of contact with for quite some time ... my seniors and my peers ...

it's funny how i will always regard them as my seniors even though ... from what they tell me ...
they no longer regard me as their junior but just one of them ...

the whole bunch of them are in army or ORDing soon ...
even my peers ...
2009 is the year of ORDing ...
and i'm merely enlisting in 2009 ...
guess ... sometime in May ?
at least that's what i hope ...

been hearing lots of stories from them about the Army ...
some good ... many more bad ...
yet ... believe it or not ... i'm actually looking forward to it ...
hahahaha ...

i'd prob make a new bunch of friends when i go in ...
so i suppose that'd be a good thing ...

school hasn't been on my mind much this year ... what with attachment being a major part of the year ... and other issues ...

i've been constantly thinking about what next ...
where do i go from after NS ...
they say that you have those two years to think through ...
but really ... not really fully considering what i wanted to do ...
is what landed me in BIT in the first place ...

looking back ... i would have wanted to go for Mass Comm ...
not that i regret taking this course ...
but i would have wanted to take something else given the choice all over again ...

one thing that has been constantly on my mind this year ...
would honestly be girls ...
funny how this would look when you read it ...

some of my friends say ... you're going through that phase where you want a girlfriend ...
blah blah ...

but idk ...
what do i really want ...
i've said many times that i'm not the sort to mess around ...
perhaps the guy up there has plans for me lar ...

but i guess ... for 2009 ...
i'd like to try to focus myself on other things ...

if you're still reading ...
well hold on for a lil more ...
this is coming to an end soon ...

2008 has been a great year ...
all the good things ...
and all the bad things ...

i honestly have no regrets doing any of the things i did ...
and i spent lots of time with my family and friends ...
and i realized that ...
it's not till something is gone ...
that you realize ...
how good it was ...
2008 was actually a great year ...
and now it's gone ...

The time now is 1.42pm, January the First 2009

Happy New Year Dear Reader

(:

when all is said and done

2008-12-29T19:01:00.002+08:00

wow ... it's been a week since i last really felt like writing anything ...
or had the time too ...

frankly ... i don't even remember what happened in the past week ...

christmas eve ... christmas ... boxing day ... and a whole lot of other days ...

just went by like that ...

oh yea ... it's all coming back to me now ...

starting too at least ...

231208 - Tuesday

went back to school ...
yes ...
two days before christmas ...
and i'm back in friggin school ...
discussed projects ...
talked about plans ...
saw charles and syahid in school too ...
so we're not like totally alone in having to drag ourselves back to school lar ... haha ...

went to town in the evening with Shane and HT ...
i needed to drop off a phone for repair at Wisma .
Shane wanted to get Art Supplies to make a card from Art Friend at Taka .
Yes . You read the previous sentence right .
But before we got there ... we missed the stop and were stuck in a jam and ended up like at Shenton Way ... we took a train back ...

Town was crowded as hell ... Well ... Or somewhat to that extent lar ...
Surprisingly ... got served pretty fast when i dropped the phone for repair ... Like i was kinda expecting some 1 hour long wait or something ... I waited all of 3 mins ?!
Caught up with Ht and Shane at Art Friend where I met Shane's Sec School friend Victor ...
Wondered around looking for Shane's Art supplies ...
Somehow ... Shane and Art isn't registering well in your head now is it !

Well ... LOL !

than dinner time . basket .
walk around everywhere .
everywhere also queue like crazy wan lar ...

than we decided to go ThaiExpress ...
so we walked over to Paragon
the food was pretty good !
and the mango with glutionious rice and coconut milk dessert was to die for !
the other 3 of us blanja Shane cause the next day 24th was his birthday
rather value for $$ meal though

241208 - Wednesday

Christmas Eve .

As I recalled it ... I stoned the entire day ?!

Only thing i remembered was preparing dinner.
Having a really big dinner feast ...

And than more stoning after dinner ...

251208 - Thursday

Christmas Day .

Again, more stoning.

I do recall talking to people ...
but about what ... and when ... i don't really recall ...

261209 - Friday

Boxing Day .

Yet more stoning.

Except that in the Evening , i did get out of the house for the Serve Camb 07 meetup.
Had a great evening , talking about old times , new happenings , and all kinds of things ...
Kudos to Joel for organising the whole thing ... although the food was pretty ... ~_~" and the price a tad expensieve too ...

Joel brought with him the Certificates for our YEP Participation ... and inside the envelope ... was a letter i got from a kid in Cambodia ...

Man ... that letter ... really brings back lots of memories ... and many things we said we'd do ... but just never did ... kinda makes me feel pretty guilty ...

Well ... soon as i clear my assignments and stuff ... I'll make good on one thing i said i'll do ...
Or more likely after i get out of Poly ...
Everywhere in between seems like a huge mess of deadlines ...

271208 - Saturday

You guessed it.

Yet more stoning.

'Nuff Said.

Did see something rather interesting though .

Lost like 5 bucks plus at Mahjong ... Bleah ...

281208 - Sunday

Family Gathering.

For once, everyone got there about the same time ... so that was good ...

Talked alot ... Seems that we never run out of stuff to talk about ... Haha ...

Lots was talked about Victor Biao Ge's upcoming wedding which is next Sunday ...

And today we got confirmation of the type of Dinner .

Western Style Vegetarian

wonder what that means ...

only one way to find out ... on the spot next week ...

Today

Did more stoning ...

Really ... Lots of things have gone through my mind ...

Been having lots of dreams ...

Most seem to concern my upcoming National Service ...
Others seem to be about this particular girl ...
Yet others don't seem to make sense at all ...

What this means however ... Is that I haven't had a decent nights sleep in a long time ...
It's been nearly two weeks now ...
And I'm damn tired ...

Perhaps the new year will bring new things ...

I guess that's all for now ...

Back to Reality . Work . Assignments and Projects .

70 to Go

2008-12-22T21:52:00.004+08:00

alright ... play times put on hold .
for now.

there's much to do and not much time to do it.

a simple calculation reveals that it is only 70 days to the last day of school

that's right. in 70 short days (worst case scenario) ,

we are outta poly .

for good (hopefully)

christmas is around the corner ...
but meh ... christmas has always just been another holiday for me ...
but for the rest of you people , have fun (:

plenty of projects and things due when school resumes in January 09.

so i guess it's time to put aside all other things for now.
what would normally take a rather short time is gonna take longer in this holiday mood everyone is in.

it's the last lap.
sprint to the finish.

days like this

2008-12-22T08:19:00.002+08:00

when you just hate life ...
when you find it has no meaning ...
and you just don't want to talk to anyone and for anyone to talk to you ...
cause you actually woke up far more tired than when you fell asleep ...

haven't been sleeping well these days ...

not to mention there's a huge hole in my pocket .
so . don't expect me out for anything .
cause i'm broke.

and Trish I know you'll read this sometime
thanks for all the oldies (:
their damn good and some songs i've been looking for quite some time
thanks !

(:

boys and their toys

2008-12-20T23:47:00.002+08:00

hehe ... my dad totally surprised me today with what i'd consider an early xmas present !

i've been complaining for eons about my K800i ...
the second one that is ...
which seems to have been like having a gazillion problems of all sorts ...
and i've been eyeing that sleek C902 since i first laid eyes on it in that email

and ... dum dum dum ! my dad got me one of them !!
today ~!!!
WOOHOOOOOOOO !!

Thanks Dad !!

my bro got an upgrade too ...
from his old w810i or something ( can't seem to remember )
to a HTC touch dual
which i don't fancy one bit at all =p

<3 my C902

had a great past 3 days with my family ...
dad took leave to bring us out !!

recap of this week

151208

Monday . Dead boring . Next !

161208

Tuesday

Spent most of the day working on some things ...
But mostly slacking anyway ...
Rather satisfied with the results (:

171208

Wednesday

Spent a godforsaken number of hours in school at OurSpace @ the Reading Room trying to finish the OIAP video which is long long long long long overdue ...
Tricia was there to help me (:
semi-officially done with that video at long last !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A very good day (:

181208

Thursday

First day Dad's on leave.
Spent the morning wasting away as usual =d
Siblings had Choir ... their CCA at school ...

Tried booking Bowling lanes at various places ...
To no avail ...
Went for lunch at Beach Road !!
<3 the food there man !!

After lunch we didn't know what to do !!
Original plan was bowling ...
But couldn't get lanes at any of the places we'd go to normally .. ):
Dad suggested going to IMM,
I countered saying that there's a Bowling Alley at West Coast we could try ...
Yup, the same one I bowled at last week ...
We gave it a shot ...
And lol ...
The place was soooooooooooo empty ...
Played 5 games ... Did rather ok ...
Couldn't find the right ball =(
Not my best performance again ...
I think the more I play the worse I get ...
Bahhhhhh ...

Went for dinner at Shokudo at CityHall ...
i was ok with my food ... everyone was ):
thought i agree that the price was steep for the portions ...
oh wells ...
bought donuts from donut factory for breakfast the next day (:
sadly they were out of double chocolate =/

191208

Friday

Again, due to my Sis having tuition, spent the morning wasting away at home again ...
Sigh ...

Went out for lunch ...
Had Ban Mian at Roxy Square !!
Woohoo !!

Than ...
We ...
Went ...
Cycling ...

From ECP to Changi Village ...
which is about 20km there and 20km back =O
i reckon ?!
for a total of 40 klicks ... woo ~

and ... i had to ride a tandem bike with my sis at the back ...
cause she can't cycle ...
totally shagged out after that lar !!

it was only my bro's second time riding a bike ...
and cause i was pushing for a longer distance ... hehe ...
ended up going so far ...
good job though man !!

had BK for dinner ...
went home ... bathed and collapsed ...
got woken up by HT who called me like 12+am
talked for about an hour ...
couldn't get back to sleep ...
somehow ... sometime ... fell back asleep ...

201208

Saturday

today !!
on top of the above stuff

spend the day at home recuperating

went back to sleep after lunch
was woken up by Mum who passed me my C902 (:
although it didn't register in my head at that point in time
it soon registered alright !

went out for dinner at this Japanese restaurant called Irodori Japanese Restaurant at River View Hotel ... Took some pictures using my new phone (:
Testing shots !

Will upload them on Facebook ... mmmm ... later i guess ...

After dinner, Dad drove us to a few nice spots ...
Got some pictures of those too ...
Again, testing my new phone (:

Haha ... But really, these spots were very nice ...
The ideal places to bring your date ...
Hehe (:

and the HDD that my aunty's friend helped me order are hereeeeeeeeeeee !!
woots !!

another 320 GB of HDD space in a small compact sizeeee (:

wooohooo love my new toys man !!

Thanks to Dad and Mum ! Thanks to my Bro and Sis ! and Thanks to Aunt Jane !!
Been a great few days !

(:

because it made you smile

2008-12-19T13:12:00.001+08:00

and the stars they seem
to paint the most elaborate scene

(:

an expression of self

2008-12-16T18:41:00.004+08:00

lost at the crossroads ~ aiky

standing at the crossroads
staring at the wrong roads

it's getting dark
it's getting cold

i don't remember
the sun going under

listen to my heart
or heed my head

the questions they pose
i still can't answer

a path appears
as if in answer

i follow this path in hopes of an answer
it fades out before i remember

am i lost
i stop and ponder

i sit and stare
and stare at yonder

Guess Who ?

i feel damn wasted.

2008-12-15T20:54:00.002+08:00

wake up damn it.
wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up

damn it.

somebody get me to wake up.

monday is blue

2008-12-15T12:41:00.002+08:00

and so are you

ok ... so it's monday ... what a bummer ...
not in the mood to do much after such a great weekend ...
hahaha

playing games all morning on Kongregate ... hehe ...

yesterday was a great day to have spent in bed ...
it was raining like there was no tomorrow ... and cycling was canceled
):

but no worries we'll do it some other time than ...
instead met up with ks and johnnie for lunch at PP ...
been about a month since i last met them ...

had lunch at jack's place ... either the food has improved since i last stopped eating at jack's place due to the horrible food or i was just damn hungry ... either way ... it was not too bad ...

decided to go bowling (yes i've been bowling like it's free, which it is SO not, it's actually rather ex)
at kallang leisure park ...

caught a bus over ...
lemme say ... THERE IS NOTHING AT THAT FRIGGIN PLACE.
other than the Bowling Alley ... which is actually quite high tech ( was quite like the one at West Coast)
the Cinema , the Ice-Skating Rink and K-Box ...
there's nothing much to see there.

THERE ISN'T EVEN A FRIGGIN DBS ATM ?!

didn't play too well ...
got 109,108,101,132?
not too sure about the last game
will upload pictures and videos on FB soon ...

yes i still have not uploaded the videos for last thursday ... just be patient ...
i got other more important things to do

gonna go work on stuff now

(:

one more day and one more time

2008-12-14T00:34:00.002+08:00

Cousins <3

thanks for the memories
(:

even though we hardly spend time like we used to anymore
i guess that makes the times we meet up more fun and enjoyable !

according the my master plan *muhahahaha*

my cousins and i zaoed from the family gathering ...
*which i had already spent more than half of the day doing nothing there*
and went to Tampines SAFRA for BOWLING !!

but we only had limited time so like ... we only managed to bowl two games ...
i did so poorly in the first game i was like so ):
but i came back partially in the second to finish with a 130 =d
hehe ...
i swear the lane was at fault ...
even lim yi said the lane was faulty !!

after that we want to eat shaved ice ...
so we though ok ... why not head over to TM to one of them HK Cafes ...
but guess what ?!
Tampine BO LEH !!

ended up we headed back to Siglap
sat there eating shaved ice and just talking ...
totally chillx

thanks mich and syl biao jie for treating us to bowling and supper !!
thanks to all you cuzzies for being so fun to hang around with !!
thanks to our parents for fetching us around !!

meet up again soon you all !!

(:

need catch some winks for now

a new day has come

2008-12-13T08:40:00.004+08:00

the human body is messed up ... SERIOUSLY.

when we CAN sleep. we just can't seem to fall asleep. or else we wake up bloody early or something.

when we CAN'T sleep. we just keep falling asleep or we oversleep or something.

case in point, me.

i just freaking went to bed around 4 in the morning right ... 4 In The Morning is a nice song anyway but the point is .
check the time out ... it's bloody 8am.
and it's not like i had alot of sleep in the previous 48 hours ...

wed night slept from 3am-6am
thu night slept from 1am-8am

i have a deficit sleep debt going here ...
why isn't it clearing damnit ...

sigh .

CT's ended on Thursday,

Went K-Box
Bowling
and Town for Dinner.

Pictures are all on Facebook ... so go there !!!

K-Box Album
Bowling Album
Night @ Town Album

Friday, totally died.

Did go out for dinner though ...
Heh ... Went to Old Airport Food Center.
THE FOOD ROCKS ~!

But most of course don't know where that is lar ... I reckon ... It's an East-Sider thing ^.^

Went to Giant at Tampines to buy stuff ...
Wahahahahahaha ... Got lots of munchies ...
I'm restocking my very badly depleted inventory at home ...
Saw this very innovative thing there

Kaya In An Easy To Use Packet !!
Perfect for Squeezing Kaya Straight Into Your Mouth !!

that's all for now ...
gotta run ~

tired

2008-12-12T09:49:00.001+08:00

just that.

tired.

it'll take you 3 seconds to navigate away from this blog.
if that's what you came to see.

you could almost hear the loud OWNAGE from dota

2008-12-10T11:56:00.003+08:00

IES was pure murder.
MURDERRRRRRRRR
BLOOOOODY MURDERRRRRR

ok. now i got that outta my system.
the IES paper did trigger off a spurt of creative SMSes though ...
ahahahaha ...

nothing like a major disaster for people to bitch about together ...

GOOD NEWS : THERE IS NO IES FINAL !
BAD NEWS : IIP is 50% . The Nightmare's NOT over yet.

after the paper everyone went home ...
with the intention of studying ...
but really ...
at least from the guys POV ...
we didn't lar ...
hahahaha ...

i should really go study now ...
yeah ... that's what i SHOULD do ...

and than the day seems so much brighter

(:

I'm turning my head up and down . I'm turning turning turning turning turning around

2008-12-08T19:02:00.002+08:00

holy crap ... i just slept my way past today ...
slept slothed sloshed

damn today's good weather ... so perfect for sleeping ...
*looks longingly at bed*

but NO . i HAVE to study .
IES is no joke.

actually got some thinking done.
was thinking of forgetting some things.
letting some friendships go ...
somehow the price to pay for maintaining them is just too high ...
if you're reading this ... prob no ... it's not you ...
cause only people closer to me would even know this exisits ...
no wait ... only less than fifty people know of this blog's existence ...
so ... not really alot of people ... of these fifty , i'm sure many have stopped coming ...
but it's alright ... i've finally realised that ... what i want for this blog is for me to remember how i lived my days ...
recently blog writing has all but died out ... used to spend an hour each day blog hopping to see whats happening ... nowadays ... blog hopping once a week is more than enough ...
yeah sure ... everyone is busy ... with life ... studying and god knows what else ...
but it really doesn't take that long to write a few lines does it ?
and taking time out to express yourselves for a bit ...
i don't think it's that much of a chore or time consuming right ?
in fact as i write this out ... my head is starting to clear actually

so anyway ... i was saying ... prob time to burn some bridges and build new ones ...
some of these bridges really lead now-where
and yet i'm still worried about the friends on the other sides of these bridges ...
well ... someone's gotta look out for me too right.
i pick myself.
i can't worry for so many people when i can't even take care of my own affairs.
selfish as that may sound. i think that's what got me into this sorry state i'm in, in the first place.
i care too much for others ... and more often than not ... i seriously doubt it's reciprocated.

friends come and go ... time for some to go

And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
And I wonder, wonder

2 down 2 to go

2008-12-08T00:00:00.003+08:00

wow i wanted to take a sunday date for this blog entry ...
but fate conspired against me and so i end up with this 12midnight entry ... creepy ...
hahahaha ...

so cleared MEB on Saturday ...
quite a relief ...

so "BAM !" MEB is down for the count .

went to meet Xiang and Shuwei for lunch ... I was late ...
met up at City Hall and went for lunch at that Jap Marche like place at the basement of Raffles City for lunch ...
food was good ! variety wide ! price also >.< !
hahaha

got our hair cut at this salon upstairs ...
shuwei wasn't too happy with her haircut though ...
cheer up cuz !! it's only hair , it'll grow back alright (:

here's how my hair looked after the cut ! love it !

went for coffee at starbucks
chatted the rest of the afternoon away =d

and in the evening ... chionged all the e-learning crap ...
that was due tonight ...
slacked the rest ... hahaha

that's about it ...
tmr's a new day ...

TO STUDY

"We <3 IES and WBA !!"
say it with me !!!

(:

1 down 3 to go

2008-12-05T16:56:00.003+08:00

*Bang*

MIS is down for the count !

Only 3 to go ... We can make it !!!

MEB is in less than 20 hours and I just fell asleep again after coming home for MIS .
MIS was do-able .
Meaning I will pass .
But marks ... well i'm happy with any mark above a pass =D

Today is Dad's Birthday ... But ... Ergh ... MEB's tomorrow ...
Might go out for dinner later ?

For now their out at ECP .

ERGH. I WOULD SO KILL TO BE AT ECP NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!

It's Friday.
And the weathers so damn fine.
Not to mention the man up there is trying to be very funny.
Placing so many eye-candys around today ... * wait this doesn't sound like me*
Knowing full well we HAVE TO go home to study today ... >.<

*screams*

AHHH Heck Care Lar ...
Study first ...
Everything else can wait .
All in good time.
All in good time.

Somewhere out there is the girl for me.
I think ?!

Ok that was so random.
Tigger !!
I did colour him !
But I thought the sketch was cuter

(:

it doesn't take courage to ask. it takes courage to accept the answers to the questions which you ask.

Kiwi !

2008-12-04T15:35:00.002+08:00

i'm supposed to be studying ... yes i know ...
just take a moment to post this video ...

Cute Little Kiwi !

No Matter How Absurd Or Out Of Reach Your Dreams Are Nothing Can Stop You From Achieving Them

If you don't get the video , Kiwis can't fly.

23 hours to change the world

2008-12-04T08:55:00.003+08:00

not really change the world lar ...
just cramming all the knowledge i need to take tomorrow's MIS paper
and erm alil of MEB's paper

after two days of doing practically nothing related to school ...
well other than just looking briefly through school stuff ...

spent tuesday out with nick and ht doing practically nothing ?!
went for lunch at astons at katong
went to lim teh tarik at parkway
went to ecp and watched nsf do road march ...
was gonna rain ...
it did rain ...
but it was the drizzle sort ... or so we thought ...
we took shelter under a tree ...
seriously !
walked over to carl's jr ... that part of ecp seems so empty on tuesday ...
played german bridge for countless hours there ...
cause the rain just kept pouring ...
we finally left there at 8pm ...
went to find a place to eat at parkway ...
didn't know what to eat ...
ended up at banquet ...

after makan ... went home.

yesterday ...

the less said the better .
did practically nothing .

alright i'm off to study ...
there's nothing left unfinished for me to complete on this laptop for now !

it'll all get better in time

(:

i'm not in love | this is not your song

2008-12-02T08:37:00.003+08:00

was gonna write this entry yesterday ...
but erm ... wasn't in the mood to do much ...
it's the mood whereby , you're happy , but you're just too darn lazy to do anything ...
hahaha

so anyway yup ... sunday !

finally after eons ... well not really eons lar ...
our families met once after i got back ...
but after eons of not having a cousin outing ...
*i was away for 6months =d*

we finally had one =d
although planning was alil on the fly ...
and communications were a tad shaky ...
at least we got off our butts to finally meet up !!

met up at PS ...
supposed to go to astons ...
but due to a slight drizzle ...
we abandoned plans for that ...
and had jap instead !
food was not too bad and the price was not too expensive

decided to go bowling next ...
so to marina square we went !
by train >.<
cause xiang had no cash in his ez-link card ... mehhhhhhh

on the way checked out NUM cause xiang wanted to get a jacket ...
but apparently they only had it at Heeren ...
lols

so we went bowling !!
guan yu is good !!
i'm ok ...
xiang is so-so
shuwei is ermmmm ok ?!
janice biao jie was bowling for the first time !!

so you can guess the scores =d
haha ...

it was fun though !
we'll do better next time !!

xiang die also want his jacket ...
so we went to heeren to get his jacket ...
and guess what ... we went by MRT again !!!
*grrrr*

so we were saying ... if he didn't buy the jacket ...
WE WOULD KILL HIM ...
so he did buy it ...
but it cost like a hundred bucks ... after discount ... -.-"

went to starbucks to have coffee and chill ...
surprisingly met Fredrick there ...
he like stays in front of my place and i never see him around ...
talked a little ...

than started chatting with my cousins ... and we sat there for like hours ...
until we realized it was getting late and decided to head for dinner ...

and we couldn't decided what to eat ... LOL !!

walked around paragon's basement
walked around taka's basement
ended up at Breeks with their LARGE oversizzzzzzzzed menus ...

picture on facebook !

yup yup !

after dinner went on home with janice , xiang and shuwei ... the East-Siders !

lim yi and guan yu the North-Siders =d

Yesterday was IS day ...

the only day this week with actual school ...

watched a documentry during WISP about S21 ...
the cambodian genocide thingeee ...
something i've had an expereince of,
having been there to see the place before ... like last year ...

art was quick as well ...
just the in-class quiz ... which i did rather ok for ... 8/10 ... hardly studied =d
ht got 7.5 and shane got 6.5 ?

yeah ... nothing much more to write about ... heading out soon ...

you know how those secondary school chinese letter writing endings go ?

就写到这里。

(:

gotta be somebody

2008-11-30T08:52:00.002+08:00

by nickelback is a damn good song.
you should go listen to it.

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me like that.

talking is the best way to get things out of your system ...
hanging out with friends and reminiscing about the past is a good way to forget the present and remembering a time gone by when life was really really good ...
than again ... you only appreciate what you had when it's over ... way past over ...
at this point in time you feel like crap ...
but days,weeks,months,years later ...
you laugh at your stupidity for feeling like crap at that point in time ...
sometimes i wish i could just skip the crappy part and just go the laughing part ...

one thing i realized recently is that ...
friends come and go ... why ?
it takes effort to keep friends ...
you need to take the effort to maintain and nurture friendships ...
sometimes you choose to spend more time with certain friends ...
and neglect others ... you end up losing some ...
sometimes ... you really can't help it ...
one side just stops talking ...
and you think ... maybe it was just a passing phase ...
some people get bored easily ... i guess ... and they simply just fade away ...
but i'm thankful for the friendship we shared however temporary it was ...
others ... have somehow managed to survive for so many years ...
and you wonder ... what's the formula that kept our friendships alive?

will my friendship with you last through the winter?
or by this time next year, will you be just another memory?

whatever it is, i'm glad it happened

(: